The Sarah Jane Adventures: The Complete Third Season (2010)

Bannerman Road's most famous resident continues the good fight. With the aid of an extraterrestrial super-computer housed in the attic, Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen) and her three young companions hold the line against all kinds of alien nasties that want to inhabit earth for various nefarious or profitable reasons.

The word 'alien' has negative connotations, but while it can be prudent to keep in mind Virgil's 'Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes,' it's unwise to judge on appearances, so the idiom 'don't tar all with the same brush,' is an equally relevant one.

Events in season three go back as far as 1665 and forward to 2059, with the immediate present playing a crucial role in one of the more notable two-parters, The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith, which has a very special guest star.

Her travels with the Doctor(s) and much of her life since has been filled with the unknown, but something she never thought she'd have to deal with is motherhood. It's a challenge at any age, but having a son that's an artificial human created by the Bane makes it a little more difficult still. Luckily, Luke (Tommy Knight) is learning to stand alone against the odds, which he proves more than once.

While all of the stories would classify as 'Adventures', some of them do a much better job with important themes than others do. Some of the better ones include, but are not limited to, the destructive affects of jealousy; being careful what you wish for, especially in anger; the pangs of regret; the desire to feel appreciated and fit in; and the healing power of second chances. Yes, it's still a children's TV show, but that doesn't mean it has to compromise on subtextual depth.

Threats include nanotechnology and a not-too-bright but very determined Judoon police officer, but what I'd run from most are Rani's (Anjli Mohindra) parents, adults who are somewhere between sit-com and soap opera - a useful combination when the script calls for an adult annoyance, but damned aggravating when it doesn't.

6 two-part stories (12 episodes), approx 27 minutes each.

3½ broader horizons out of 5

Sapphire and Steel (1979-82)

I saw it first when I was a kid. I don't remember what age exactly, but it blew my young mind. I saw some of it again in my twenties. It blew my mind once more. You can guess where this is going... yup, and again in my thirties, mind blown. During all that time I encountered nothing else quite like it, so in my experience it's unique.

Wikipedia notes that the show's creator, Peter J. Hammond, gave it the working title of The Time Menders; and while not as seductive or as pleasing to say as Sapphire and Steel, it does a better job at describing what the series is as a whole.

The enigmatic duo are 'operators' that fix time when it goes wrong or when parts of it leak or break through barriers into other parts. It's known that there are 127 operators in total, of which Sapphire (Joanna Lumley) and Steel (David McCallum) are two. Their full role is a mystery, but part of their job is to mend fractures that exist between temporal states; they're a line of defence, preventing the malicious side of past, present and future from destroying itself and everything within it. Time itself is described as a corridor that encompasses all things, so in a way the operators are like interdimensional hall monitors maintaining order.

Joanna Lumley is radiant and sympathetic as Sapphire, although she can paradoxically be sometimes cold and detached at the same time. David McCallum is austere and methodical as Steel. Yes, both are like their names, but I've often wondered if the names came first or if the personalities preceded them.

Stories (called 'assignments') are multi-part, so while there are 34 episodes in total there are only 6 assignments and it's best if you make time to watch all of one assignment in one sitting. Each assignment has a resolution but don't expect to have all questions answered. It's deliciously cryptic but not to the point of bafflement. The editing and use of sound are excellent, keeping events tense and flowing, always engaging and often eerie - at times even chilling.

I feel that the low budget actually works in the production's favour. The feeling that we're on a sound stage adds to the unsettling nature of the environments. It's almost as if for the duration of the assignment they've lost the intangible sense of safety that we unconsciously attribute to traditional notions of reality.

34 episodes, approx 25 minutes each.

5 side doors out of 5

Into the Labyrinth (1981-82)

Three youths, Phil, Helen and Terry (as pictured), shelter in a nearby cave when a freak storm breaks out. It's there that they find Rothgo, a formidable but weakened soul with the kind of powers we'd normally associate with sorcerers of bygone eras. He enlists the children's help to retrieve an ancient and powerful artefact.

To attain the Nidas, as it's known, the kids must venture into the Labyrinth, a gateway to other times. It's a perilous journey and like all good children's TV shows it has an antagonist that's truly memorable, but I'll get to her eventually.

It sounds like a standard set-up so far, but it has elements that raise it above the norm. Firstly, Rothgo, played by Ron Moody (who you may know better as Fagan in Oliver! (1968), Carol Reed's version of Oliver Twist) brings a Shakespearean sensibility to his scenes. Perhaps being limited to a stage-like setting was the reason or perhaps not - whatever the case, he helps turn what could've been an archetypal mentor character into an emotional one, desperate to save himself but likewise prepared to sacrifice his goal should the need arise.

While the search is ongoing from week to week, the structure is episodic. Both the Nidus and the children are bounced around notable historical periods, creating something akin to a merger of fantasy, sci-fi and period drama. Following them through time is a power-hungry witch named Belor who's hell-bent on attaining the artefact's power for herself, and if she can't have it then no one will.

The beautiful but evil Belor, a toxic yet alluring combination, was played by Pamela Salem. Wow - what an absolute star she was! Salem hammed it up in an immensely dramatic fashion when necessary but in such a way that she owned every scene. She embodied a collection of detestable traits but I was completely smitten by her enthusiasm and grace. Full marks for her.

Some folks will criticize the fact that the same cave interior is repeatedly used, over and over, rearranged or revamped a little each time with the application of new set dressings. It's a legitimate complaint but not one that I was at all bothered about. Like I said before, it was a stage-like environment, and that's how it works on stage. I even began to look forward to the changed trappings, evaluating their placement and usefulness. I was never disappointed.

21 episodes (07 Eps x 03 Series), approx 26 mins each.

4½ shining reflections out of 5

Bad Influence! (1992-96)

My first thought was, 'Who let Andy Crane out of the broom cupboard?', but he did an okay job on his feet, showing an admirable amount of enthusiasm in the presenter role. His co-host of the show is Violet Berlin, which is a name that most UK folks who were into gaming back in the 90s will recognise.

It wasn't as good as the similarly themed GamesMaster (1992-98) series that aired on a rival channel, but Bad Influence!'s focus was broader.

It states on Wiki that the show was like a 'Tomorrow's World' for kids, which is an observation I agree with. Of course, it means nothing if you don't already know what kind of a show Tomorrow's World was. In both cases, new technology that was either still under development, in the testing phase or already on the market was showcased in an easy to understand way that didn't compromise the scientific nature or importance of the product. Features were either in the studio or on location and showed the presenter(s) getting hands-on with the new tech.

The techy stuff was cool, but the main focus was Video Games, Consoles and Home Computers. By 1992 the 16 bit consoles had taken a strong hold, but CD-based options were appearing. It's fun to look back and see how things like the Panasonic branded '3DO Interactive Multiplayer' and the 'Phillips CD-i' were heralded as the next big thing, when in fact they were the next big failures.

Interestingly, product reviews even included third-party devices, such as the kind that enabled gamers to circumvent copy protection on cartridges, allowing for import carts to be played on UK machines. The friendly warning that the use of such gray area products voided your warranty seemed more like a necessary addition to keep the team on the right side of the law than anything else.

The competitions were mostly amazing; in one episode they even gave away a Neo Geo with games! In the UK at the time, a Neo Geo was like the Holy Grail - in fact, it was better, because you can't play Metal Slug on the Holy Grail.

57 episodes, approx 20 minutes each.

3 super-fast datablasts out of 5

Knightmare (1987–94)

As a young Faustus I loved all things fantasy and supernatural. Fighting Fantasy books, Dragonlance and Forgotten Realms novels, HeroQuest gaming sessions, etc, so it's no great surprise that Knightmare fit perfectly into my life.

Four adventurers (kids under 16) entered the Castle of Confusion in the hope of conquering its dungeon. One wore the Helmet of Justice, which limited what he/she could see, and entered the dungeon proper. The remaining three stayed behind to act as guides, able to see on a screen where their friend was, to direct and keep the Dungeoneer from falling into imaginary pits of doom and suchlike.

The rules of the game were overseen by Treguard the Dungeon Master, pictured above, a noble(ish) born Saxon, he would give occasional clues and hints to either help solve a puzzle or feed the team's nervousness. Treguard rocks!

Even though it was all for the children, the adults were the real stars. They treated the chroma key (blue screen) locations as a kind of stage, treading boards that weren't there as enthusiastically as they would if they actually did exist. In short, they were a theatre troupe doing what they do best: bringing theatrical life to an otherwise empty space. In addition, they had to ad lib when the kids turned out to be more stupid than they'd anticipated for, which was often. It's not unfair to say that some of the contestants hit every branch of the stupid tree when they fell.

Each year the dungeon would shift, offering new challenges and presenting new recurring characters. Even Trequard (Hugo Myatt) got himself an aide or two, my favourite being the elf Pickle (David Learner), who started out a little annoying but grew into a truly memorable part of the show in his second year.

The rules were unevenly enforced; it could be overly-harsh one minute and too forgiving the next, depending on how thick the kids were. It started out pandering to them, but soon got bored with that approach. In S3 the cast toyed with humiliating them, successfully, and in S4 the level design almost sent a few of the clumsier ones to the casualty ward. When a team who knew what they were doing featured, the show became the thing that it was envisioned to be: magical.

112 episodes, approx 25 minutes each.

4½ watchers of illusion out of 5

Titus Season 3 (2001)

Horrible, heinous, brutal stuff happens to everyone. So if something tragic happens in your life, go ahead, take some time and grieve. *DING* Time's up! Movin' on.

Christopher Titus is working on regaining his reputation and getting his finances in order for his failing hot rod business. That is the overarching plot, but it is actually largely unimportant and mostly forgotten later in the season. The show continued with its dark subject matter, moving on to episodes focused on child abuse, murder, severe mental illness and hate crimes against LGBT. The latter actually won the show a GLAAD award since even though the characters were crass about it, it still put forth that gays deserve equal rights. Pretty radical stuff for 2001 TV. The latter half of the season is probably the best, both in laughs and subject matter as the severe mental illness of Titus' mother affects almost everything in the show. The black comedy was in fine form with hilarity mixed with a sincerity that comes from Titus having actually gone through real life situations that inspired the show.

The show was hitting a stride despite the networks' continued objections to the crude content that caused a few episodes to air out of order and mixed with a plot about a disturbance on a plane in THAT year caused a delayed airing that further threw the schedule out of whack and a meeting with executives that Christopher has talked about several times caused the show to be cancelled. As Titus puts it, "Call your boss an idiot enough times and they will fire you." The silver lining is the show went out before it became too formulaic like other shows that also have heavy use of cutaway jokes and flashbacks, but the theatrical play filming was still fairly unique. Like the other seasons, it can feel a little dated now, but still worth the time to watch.

Buyer's Guide:
Only available on out of print DVD box sets that at least have some decent extras.

4 taking out 4 armed guards with a pair of tweezers out of 5

GamesMaster (1992-98)

For the people that saw GamesMaster back in the day, that watched Dominick Diamond in his presenter pants talk straight-faced about waggling his joystick in public, the warm fuzzies of nostalgia that accompany this post are for you.

For everyone else, yes, the disembodied head in the picture above is the one and only astronomer extraordinaire Sir Patrick Moore. He was the godfather figure on the first ever dedicated video games show on UK TV.

GM went to places that other shows didn't. It plumbed the furrows and poked the holes. It even reached around without being asked because it cared. It was dangerous. In truth it was nothing more than innuendo, but if your mother walked in at the wrong time she’d be outraged. That just made it better!

As an adult now, I can see how Dom’s “verbose vernacular” could be perceived inappropriate and occasionally borderline pornographic by the emotionally stunted, but it didn't stop me chuckling the same all over again.

Dom left after Series II and was replaced by Dexter Fletcher, who was arrogant and shouty. It was a disaster. That’s all I have to say about Series III.

Mercifully, Dom returned for Series IV - VII. The innuendo was slightly curtailed, but the elevated icy sarcasm more than compensated. It’s as if he thought ‘I don’t give a toss about decorum or Channel 4. If they sack me, I’ll go out a winner.’ He'd perv the ladies and ridicule the men equally. The weekly mocking of Dave Perry, an act Dave seemed unaware of for the longest time, was pure gold.

Commentators and reviewers were from popular games magazines of the time, such as C+VG, Game Zone and my favourite, the one my paper round money paid for, Mean Machines. They dished out ridiculous scores of 80 and 90% for games we found out were turds when we rented them illegally from the unscrupulous but enterprising video store owner at the arse-end of town. Every town had one.

It was the era of the Mega Drive, SNES and Amiga; of Sensible Soccer, New Zealand Story, Alien Breed, and micro spring joysticks that broke about a week after purchase (but could we ever find that damn receipt?). Sonic 2, the slowed down PAL version, was a cutting edge new game! Bloody hell.

As the years went on the fast-loading, cartridge-based systems were forced into retirement as a cocky newcomer, the optical disc, arrived and seductively stroked the pockets of gamers the world over hungry for innovation. Little did we know it would lead to draconian business practices, patches, DLC and Season Passes.

126 episodes, approx 25 minutes each.

4 tight right-handers out of 5

Batman Beyond: Complete Series (1999-2001)

aka Batman of the Future

The team that created Batman Beyond achieved the near-impossible: they made a show that's the equal of Batman: The Animated Series (1992-95) and they did it without having Bruce Wayne as the lead! Holy Personnel Changes, Batman.

It's set in 2039, forty years after TAS' successor, The New Batman Adventures (1997-97), and continues the continuity set up by both it and TAS. The era of the original crusader has passed. The world has moved on. Gotham has evolved into Neo-Gotham, a towering, high-tech megalopolis wherein the crime and corruption is as rife in the shiny office buildings as it is on the late night docks. Bruce (Kevin Conroy) is still around, possibly because, like one of his contemporaries said, he's too stubborn to die. He is, however, a retired, cranky and cynical recluse that rarely leaves the Manor.

Enter Terry McGinnis (Will Friedle), a seventeen-year-old high school student with a criminal record. Terry has the kind of family upbringing that was denied Bruce, but they have something in common nonetheless: they share a similarly strong moral belief and a desire to see justice carried out. When Terry takes up the mantle he becomes both the symbol that teaches and the student. Bruce, through a two way communication device in the new bat suit, gives advice and support, but it's Terry that takes the weight (and the punches and kicks, etc).

The show references the past in many ways. One of which is the biker gang that terrorises the city and its citizens. They're like a cross between the typical garden variety thug and the Clowns from Akira (1988). They're the painted-faced Jokerz, styled after the original Joker that caused Bruce grief decades before.*

It'll occasionally go further and build an entire episode around something from the past, but never as a means to milk old glories or hide failings. Instead, it's a knowing nod to TAS fans, because BB stands firm on its own two (rocket) feet.

Alongside the criminal of the week it introduces a new roster of regular villains and madmen, some more memorable than others. My personal favourites are the tricky Spellbinder (Jon Cypher), the mysterious Inque (Shannon Kenny), and the clumsy but dangerous anarchist Mad Stan (Henry Rollins).

52 episodes, approx 22 minutes each, split over 3 seasons.

5 critical lifesaving clues out of 5

*There's a feature length entry titled Return of the Joker (2000) that's a must-see for fans of both BB and TAS. If possible seek out the uncut version.

The A-Team: The Complete Series (1983–87)

I was reminded recently that the question, "Why do you watch that crap?" makes me less inclined to validate the reasons for my own choices and instead more aware of the hidden agenda of the person asking it. It's not a genuine inquiry. It's a thinly disguised insult. With that in mind, I feel sorry for anyone who didn't have The A-Team in their front room as a kid. Not having Sergeant First Class 'B.A.' Baracus, Colonel John 'Hannibal' Smith, Lieutenant Templeton 'Face' Peck and Captain 'Howling Mad' Murdock to provide escapism and feed the imagination is like having an integral part of a happy childhood denied you. It's like having never played with LEGO. It's like having never tasted strawberry sherbets in summer.

Being a fan of The A-Team was a privilege; one that was available to every sighted person who owned a working TV, whether it was the rich kid with a silver spoon feeding both ends simultaneously, or the ostracised, abused kid with an alcoholic father whom everyone thought was destined to be the same.

The show taught us that with good friends and a little ingenuity we could stand up to the bullies. (It made me want friends that I could rely on as much as the team relied on each other. I don’t know if I ever had them. I like to think that I had.)

It taught us that money isn't important to happiness, which was the opposite of what most corporate 80s TV programs wanted us to think, and it repeatedly showed that a selfless good deed is its own reward.

It taught us that Hannibal loves it when a plan comes together.

It taught us that villains will always get up afterwards with nothing more serious than dizziness and a bruised ego. But that part was a lie. In so doing, whether intentional or not, that same lie taught us that real life wasn't always like TV.

In the past year I've thought more than a dozen times that whichever post I'm working on at the time is the last one I'm making on this particular site, but I keep coming back. It's now clear to me why: I want to give all the people who get asked "Why do you watch that crap?" an incentive to revisit the reasons why they did watch it and to remember what it was that they gained from doing so. If you love something, scream it from the rooftops.

(What you're reading isn't the kind of review I was expecting to write when I sat down. I'd planned some jokes about B.A.'s bad acting, Hannibal's bad disguises, Murdock's tee-shirts, Face's shameless sexism and how in a pinch the team could build a tank from an egg box, but you've heard all those jokes before. This way, when the time comes for me to ride off into the sunset, I'll be entirely satisfied.)

98 episodes (5 Seasons), approx 47 minutes each, split over 27 discs.

5 wheel cams out of 5

The Royle Family: The Complete Collection (2013)

A fly on the wall style comedy about a stereotypical Manchester family who spend their lives on the sofa watching crap on television. They’re average Joes; common as shit, with a sideboard full of useless tatt and a TV remote held together with some quick-fix insulating tape. Until you warm to the flawed characters, or recognise something of your own family in them, it’s hard to see how it could possibly be entertaining. It may take more than one episode for that to happen. Waiting a week for one instalment is the worst way to experience anything episodic, but happily the series has ended, so you can binge.

The head of the family, Jim Royle (Ricky Tomlinson), is the star. His every second outburst is some kind of sarcastic, critical reproach or joke at someone else’s expense. When not making friends that way, he’s scratching himself or picking his nose. Jim unashamedly does all the things publicly that most men do privately (expect that!). There’s a little bit of Jim in everyone.

His long-suffering wife Barbara (Sue Johnston) is cook and cleaner. She likes to gossip but has a heart of gold beneath the outer shell. Somehow she and Jim mustered up the enthusiasm to have two children: twenty-something layabout Denise (Caroline Aherne) and her dogsbody brother Anthony (Ralf Little). He gets less screen time than the others, but he’s my second favourite character.

Outside of the core family, a small number of friends and neighbours pop in when they need something. It’s a small cast but you’ll be hard-pressed to find a better written set of characters in a sitcom. They share mannerisms and exhibit inherited traits like a real family who spend all their time together would.

In the three years that the weekly show ran, the camera never left the house interior. We were given glimpses of the outside world but it wasn't until the specials came along that the exterior was explored. When it happens that first time, have your hankies at the ready because it’s one of the most unforgettable and emotionally powerful TV moments I've ever witnessed. Really.

20 episodes, most of which are approx 30 minutes each, and 5 specials that run longer. Everything up to and including the 2006 special is quality, but everything afterwards was less successful. There was an attempt to wed absurdest comedy into the mix, which really didn't work.

3½ bacon-butties (made by Anthony) out of 5

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Season 3 (1989-90)

There'll always be exceptions, but in my experience, whether by accident or design, within forms of entertainment patterns emerge if you care to look for them: book two of a trilogy is often the weakest; tracks one and seven of a CD are often the strongest; and season three of a TV series is often one of the best. TNG is no different. Mostly it’s business as usual with Picard having to accommodate self-important assholes at the behest of his superiors and play diplomatic mediator in heated situations, but there’s also a lot of new directions taken.

Wesley matures and develops into less of a dick. His mom, Dr Crusher, returns to sickbay, so the argumentative Katherine Pulaski is out. There’s no mention of why or where Pulaski went but I like to think she married an Antedean dignitary and now lives as a cold and miserable fishwife on Antede III.

There’s an increase in Romulan and Klingon activity and an attempt to show how a political and cultural setting influences their warring tendencies. As you’d expect, Worf gets to play a pivotal role in a major part of that. Every day is a good day to die for a Klingon, but it seems that some days are better than others.

A small number of supporting characters that would reappear in subsequent episodes/seasons make their Trek début; among them are Andreas Katsulas, Tony Todd and Dwight Schultz, all of whom bring a unique personality.

If that wasn't enough to keep fans happy, some of the best episodes from the entire seven year run of TNG feature, such as Yesterday’s Enterprise, The Offspring and The Best of Both Worlds Part I. The latter is an end of season cliff-hanger, so make sure you have Season 4 nearby because when those credits roll you’ll want to go directly to Part II of the story as soon as possible.

26 episodes, approx 44 minutes each.

5 holodeck romances out of 5

Jonathan Creek: Series I, II and III (1997 - 2000)

Jonathan Creek is a mystery/detective series, but Jonathan (Alan Davies) isn't an actual detective. He designs magic tricks for a stage magician. His knowledge of stage magic, or more precisely his understanding of what it takes to create the perfect illusion, enables him to take available clues from a crime scene and work backwards. He assesses the impossible without ever dismissing the implausible. The show is less of a traditional 'whodunnit', and more of a 'howdunnit' that keeps you guessing right up to the inevitable reveal.

It's not all death and murder, though. There's a lot of comedy, too; much of which revolves around Jonathan's relationship with his partner in crime-solving, the female writer/investigative reporter, Maddie Magellan (Caroline Quentin). He's the reserved, quiet sort, whereas she's the bold, outgoing kind. As the show progresses their relationship deepens and they spend more and more time under each other's feet, and on each other's couch.

An ongoing sexual tension would be too much of a cliché. Instead, Maddie just wants to bang Jonathan to within an inch of his nerdy life. It's not because he's dashingly handsome - it's because she likes a challenge, too.

I'm not suggesting the show is free of clichés, because it isn't. The murder in a locked room scenario pops up often and becomes a kind of running joke. It even relies on a few others of its own making.

Every great detective needs an equally great theme tune to set the mood for what follows. Creek doesn't disappoint. It uses a slightly more fickle arrangement of French composer Camille Saint-Saëns' wonderful Danse Macabre. It's the perfect accompaniment to the show's clever but equally fatuous nature.

Stick around after the credits roll on the pilot for a scene that isn't important to the murder story but is relevant to something else.

S1: Pilot approx 90 mins + 5 episodes approx 60 mins each.

S2: 6 episodes, approx 50 mins each. | S3: 6 episodes, approx 50 mins each.

4½ slow drips out of 5

Blackadder the Third (1987)

The third incarnation of Blackadder jumped forward to the years leading up to the British Regency period (sometime in the late 18th or early 19th Century), making Edmund the personal butler of the Prince of Wales.

The cast was lessened considerably, to just four regulars, and to compensate the dialogue was given even more importance. There seems to have been a conscious effort to make almost every word of Edmund's have some hilarious snide or sarcastic humour attached to it. He really is an acerbic git.

Baldrick is as important to the show's structure as Blackadder himself, so it's no surprise to see him return.

We finally get to see Mrs Miggins, who, no disrespect to actress Helen Atkinson-Wood, was the only new addition that felt de trop. The character simply didn't get anything noteworthy to do.

The final regular is the son of King George III, the Prince Regent who's also called George, played by Hugh Laurie. Laurie is a natural born comedian. He's utterly believable as the epitome of the thick-as-shit, silver spoon-fed toff; he even managed to make Baldrick look relatively smart.

The Royal setting again enabled critique of the upper class and the monarchy, both of whom deserve all they get. Hurrah!

6 episodes, approx 30 minutes each.

3½ turnips out of 5

Spartacus: War of the Damned (2013)

Spartacus... That is not my name.

The 3rd and final season of Starz's bloody and melodramatic retelling of the legendary Spartacus pulls no punches. The action is plentiful and still as over the top gory as viewers have come to expect from the series. The plot is also ramped up with a new and excellent antagonist in Marcus Crassus who is both extremely cunning and intelligent as well as having the resources to enforce his will however he sees fit. Unencumbered by the faults of past romans sent to kill Spartacus makes him a dangerous foe for Spartacus who also must deal with a fracturing of his army as well as the coming winter.

Knowing full well that this would be the last season of the show, the producers and crew spared no expense. Everything from the sets to choreography is much more polished and enhanced while the plot's stakes are raised. It still felt a little rushed given the limited 10 episodes and it's a shame it had to end just as all the actors finally seemed to find the characters and the original melodrama of the show was creeping ever closer to regular drama. The fast paced story and action though is exactly what the show has always delivered and more and won't disappoint fans.

Buyer's Guide:
Available now on DVD and Blu-ray box sets and on iTunes.

4½ History already spoiled it for you out of 5

Millennium: Season Three (2005)

After the mess they made of Season Two, neither Glen Morgan nor James Wong were invited back to contribute to Season Three. Good. Two new guys (Michael Duggan and Chip Johannessen) were given the task of cleaning up the apocalyptic shit-stains. Series creator Chris Carter also made a brief return, contributing by co-writing three episodes and overseeing some parts of the production.

Mostly the format returned to standalone episodes. It mimicked and attempted to recapture the psychological aspect that had made Season One a success. The event that ended the previous year is largely ignored; I've never been so pleased to have such an inconsistency.

Frank gets a new partner who's characterised by her overzealous enthusiasm in early episodes. But as the season progresses she takes on more useful traits, and by the end she becomes an integral part of the proceedings.

The Millennium Group are still sniffing around crime scenes, but the focus is primarily on Frank and his new role, which causes a minor internal conflict within him. His attentions are split unevenly between his daughter and his job. It seems as if the situation will elevate, but it peters out too soon and remains underdeveloped. There was something potentially sinister there that could've been brought to the fore but wasn't; perhaps they were holding that back for future seasons? We’ll never know.

There's another crap Hallowe’en episode, and an Xmas episode, but most of the bad comedy was excised; I'm pretending the episode with KISS didn't happen.

Extras include the Millennium/X-Files crossover. It was a great idea but it's a bad story with a very weak ending. It would've been nice if the writers had used the format to offer some kind of resolution or closure that the series was denied, but they didn't; it's simply an excuse to feature Frank Black in the X-Files.

22 episodes, approx 44 minutes each.

2½ chips off the old block out of 5

Deadwood: Season Three (2006)

Deadwood set the bar as high as it could go with the very first episode of Season One, and kept it close thereafter, right to the very end of this Season, which was to be the last because HBO cancelled it. Of all the TV shows that ever got axed, in all the years that I've been a viewer, I mourn the loss of Deadwood the most. The only thing it did wrong was be too damn clever.

The main story arc is the continued fight for control of town resources, a fight played out both diplomatically and via the business end of a knife. There’s a saying that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, but in Deadwood the enemy of my enemy is another fucking enemy waiting to snatch an advantage, hoping to profit from it either directly or indirectly. Multiple threats mean stakes are higher and casualties more notable. Not everyone makes it out alive. There are some quiet moments near the end, but only because tensions are purposefully buried.

The main cast members are unchanged. Joanie Stubbs (Kim Dickens) finally gets something interesting to do, which left just the character of Alma Garret (Molly Parker) as the only weak leak in an otherwise sturdy chain.

There’s not much of Brad Dourif this season. You get the feeling that he’s always around but he has less screen time.

I have to give special mention to Calamity Jane (Robin Weigert). Of all the women in the series, Jane is the most exceptional, for reasons I won't go into.

Let’s not forget the humour. William Sanderson had me in pains of laughter. His weasel attitude and ability to swing from self-effacing to self-important in the same sentence is pure genius.

Brian Cox joined the cast. He and his troupe seemed a little superfluous, but it’s Brian Cox, so even when he’s doing little of merit he’s still a joy to watch. I'm sure his role would've increased had it been given time to do so; there were definite hints in that direction.

There was the hope that some TV movies would get the green light to wrap up the threads of the story but that didn't happen.

12 episodes, approx 45-55 minutes each.

5 fights on the promenade out of 5

Adventures of the Gummi Bears (1987)

Season 3 finally breaks free of the show's formula somewhat with new characters and interesting stories. No more of repeats of Igthorn and/or backfired spells ad nauseum. It's too bad none of the new plots are explored beyond the one episode they feature in as adding too much continuity would hurt syndication rights. Some of the new characters would have added to the show. Even the new cast member introduced at the end of last season is used very sparingly which is puzzling.

The usual one episode geared towards the overarching plot is also absent this season and focuses on simply another piece of Gummi legend. It's a great episode at least. The whole season is pointed towards progress, but then does nothing with it. Wasted potential, but still entertaining and better than last season.

Buyer's Guide:
Available on the same 3 disc set as the previous seasons.

3 disappearing castles out of 5

Chocky's Challenge (1986)

The title of the final part of the Trilogy raises an intriguing question: is it Chocky setting a challenge or is it Chocky being challenged? The answer is satisfying to a degree, but except for one other instance of inference the writing is more concerned with answering such questions than offering up food for thought.

The biggest fault is that the first of Chocky’s children, Matthew, who was the glue that held the whole thing together, is absent most of the time. His notoriety has forced him away from the project, meaning he’s very little to offer the others as they continue to work toward Chocky’s goal.

That leaves young Albertine as the main protagonist. She’s joined by some new children pulled from an unintentional(?) ethnically racist roster; a clever Asian that plays the piano, and a black kid from Boston who looks like he just stepped out of an 80's pop music video. Neither of the new additions are much good at acting.

The cynical adults aren't the only villains. There are others watching the children, others with a deeper agenda than to simply recover from hurt pride. It mimics events of the previous series but they no longer feel fresh, nor do they carry the same sense of surprise. Nevertheless, it's still better than most of the crap they show on kid's TV today.

6 episodes, approx 25 mins each.

2½ gestalt children out of 5

Men Behaving Badly: Series 3 (1994)

The further misadventures of flatmates Gary (Martin Clunes) and Tony (Neil Morrissey), which is based on a Simon Nye novel of the same name.

It's business as usual for the guys that never grow up. Getting a channel change and a post-watershed slot meant the jokes could get cruder and consequently funnier. The writers are also getting better at what they do. In fact, everything begins to gel much more cohesively this time. The cast are clearly enjoying themselves more; you can see Caroline Quentin struggling not to burst into laughter more than once.

Topics covered in Series 3 include sexual-inferiority, insomnia, a relationship-saving holiday, and the dirtiest of words: Marriage. *shudder*

It's a British sitcom that hits and misses. When it hits, about 60% of the time, it's classic stuff.

6 episodes, approx 25 mins each.

3½ beers, Tupperware pouches and a face like an ass out of 5

Breaking Bad Season 3 (2010)

 

I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way... 
No more half measures.

Season 2 expanded the scope of the show and revealed that Walt's actions can have consequences that affect people other than himself. Season 3 sees him and Jesse dealing with the fallout. Jesse does so with rehab and Walt does less successfully by trying to reconnect with his now estranged family. Jesse learns to accept he is a bad guy while Walt chooses to end his criminal activity as it has cost him the reason he began in the first place, but both of those decisions may be premature. Meanwhile 2 Hispanic assassins cross the Mexican border in search of Walt and the stress and frustration of Hank's job begin to affect his mental health.

Like the above quote, the show isn't going by halves now. Everything has higher stakes. The transformation of the two main characters has begun in earnest now as they waffle between two extremes.  The excellent recurring characters have become regulars and there is more tension that is so palpable that it feels all the better when it is relieved in spectacular fashion. Slower burn leads to a more delicious steak. The subplots involving anyone other than the main players can still be irritating and feel like they are only there out of necessity (looking at you again, Skylar) and the black comedy moments have all but disappeared. Quite an enhanced season that felt the tiniest bit janky at some points.

Episodes to See:
One Minute - One of those aforementioned tension relievers.
Half Measures - And another with some excellent performances all around including new regular Jonathan Banks.

Buyer's Guide:
Available in both DVD and Blu Ray box sets. Also available from iTunes, Netflix and Amazon Instant Video.

4½ Homemade flyswatters  out of 5