Hammer House of Horror: Volume 4 of 4 (1980)

The Thirteenth Reunion
Ruth (Julia Foster), a reporter for a small newspaper's 'women's section' goes undercover in a weight-loss clinic to find out if their unusual methods work or not. So far, so normal. But the clinic is up to something shady, so Ruth digs deeper.
The amateur sleuth vibe that you'd expect to accompany that kind of story is almost completely absent - whether by fault or design, I don't know. What remains is a woman who's out of her depth but determined to get the story, in the hope of helping her career. It's not a very engaging 50 mins, for the most part, only really coming alive in the last third. — 2½ virtues of necessity out of 5 —

Carpathian Eagle
Inspector Clifford (Anthony Valentine) investigates a series of murders in which male victims had their heart cut from their chest. At the same time an author (Suzanne Danielle) is researching a Carpathian Countess who did some grisly things in her spare time. The gathered evidence suggests supernatural means, but the sleuthing detective explores the psychological side, too. Not the typical Hammer Glamour model, the seductive murderess nevertheless successfully adds a touch of sexy class to the production. It also features Siân Phillips as a descendent of the bat-shit crazy Countess. — 3 jobs for the ladies out of 5 —

Guardian of the Abyss
If GotB was an attempt by Hammer to create something that feels like another Dennis Wheatley adaptation, then they succeeded, with bells on. It's not a carbon copy of The Devil Rides Out (1968), but it does have similarities; i.e. black magic rites, a private individual carrying out a time-sensitive investigation, and an initiate (Rosalyn Landor, who played Peggy in the aforementioned film) on the run from a hypnotising occultist. It's familiar thematically but still manages to hold its own in the TV medium. Overall, great stuff. — 3½ horror scopes out of 5 —

Growing Pains
A comfortably rich research botanist named Terence Morton (Gary Bond) and his diplomat wife Laurie (Barbara Kellerman) adopt a young boy named James (Matthew Blakstad), a replacement for the son they tragically lost. James is a polite youth, but his arrival brings with it some very strange happenings.
It's an average end to the short-lived series, but the acting is generally good and the predominant theme is well-explored. The ending, despite having some avoidable flaws, is also pretty dramatic. — 2½ living proofs out of 5 —

4 episodes, approx 51 minutes each.

Hammer House of Horror: Volume 3 of 4 (1980)

Rude Awakening
Denholm Elliott stars as an estate agent named Norman Shenley who gets stuck between a nightmare and a fantasy. On one side is Emily (Pat Heywood), his wife of many years, while on the other is Lolly (Lucy Gutteridge), the young, sexy secretary that he has eyes for. Norman's life is thrown into chaos when he's asked to survey a neglected manor house filled with fake cobwebs and accusing voices.
Directed by Peter Sasdy, whose Hammer credits include Countess Dracula (1971) and Hands of the Ripper (1971), the story plays around with what's real and what's imagined, hiding truths in the line between the two. — 3 bed roles out of 5 —

Charlie Boy
A timely windfall helps middle class Graham (Leigh Lawson) out of a financial pickle, but it comes with supernatural baggage; i.e. a hideous fetish statue - that's the totemic/juju kind, not the 'ooh, baby, spank me!' kind. Thereafter, we're treated to tragic events with ominous build ups that may just be coincidence but most likely aren't, because that would be boring. — 2½ travelling violations out of 5 —

Children of the Full Moon
A rather shocking opening scene (in any era, not just 1980) sets the tone for an entry that is by turns standard drama, creepy, gothic-esque, feral, and disquieting. The differing styles each serve a purpose and don't clash too much, thanks in part to the director (Tom Clegg) and the actors, including great work by Diana Dors.
It's an altogether classier piece than the previous episode, despite having a threat that's equally as overused in the horror genre. — 3 mutton broths out of 5 —

3 episodes, approx 51 minutes each.

Hammer House of Horror: Volume 2 of 4 (1980)

The Mark of Satan
Working in a hospital mortuary would be a difficult enough job ordinarily, but for new guy Edwyn Rord (Peter McEnry) having to deal with a philosophical pathologist and the hidden but encroaching forces of evil that are conspiring to destroy him makes it even more problematic. It's not just at work. Edwyn's home life isn't as secure as he'd like it to be. Dir. Don Leaver manages to accentuate the unease that the infatuated worker feels, transferring it to the viewer at the correct times and in the correct doses.  — 3 counts of evil out of 5 —

Witching Time
An overworked and stressed out film score composer (Jon Finch) has problems with women. Not only does he suspect his wife (Prunella Gee) of sleeping with another guy, but a fiery-haired mystery woman who claims to be from the 17th Century unexpectedly shows up and makes his life even more eventful.
Things turn more sinister in the second half, but overall it's not as good as the previous episode. The highlight is undoubtedly the scornful redhead, Lucinda (Patricia Quinn), who you'll maybe know better as Magenta from The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). — 2½ cackles out of 5 —

Visitor from the Grave
A woman with a history of mental illness experiences a traumatic event when an uninvited visitor calls at her pleasant English cottage home.
It's another psychological story, mostly, with the 'horror' this time manifested as a morbid fear of slipping back into an unstable mindset and an equally debilitating fear of one's wrongful deeds being found out. It was my least favourite of the three, and is somewhat predictable, but the acting, particularly from Kathryn Leigh Scott, is enough to keep it from being boring. — 2½ chill pills out of 5 —

3 episodes, approx 51 minutes each.

Hammer House of Horror: Volume 1 of 4 (1980)

The House That Bled to Death

A haunted house story set in a modest home on a typical suburban street. The studio uses the lower budget to its best advantage; the familiarity of the surroundings being more relatable to many folks than an ancient and gothic castle on a hill. It strives for a perpetual sinister aura but falls a little short of the mark most the time... until the blood! — 2½ leaky pipes out of 5 —

The Silent Scream

Hammer Films regular Peter Cushing brings his talents to the small screen alongside another fine actor, Brian Cox. Cushing is a pet store owner. Cox is an ex-con, fresh from the big house.
The camerawork is solid throughout and there's an occasional dramatic flair from the lighting department.
It's certainty a horrifying experience for the characters, but is more of a suspense story for the viewer, even providing some audible triggers that move us closer to the edge of our seats each time they ring out. — 4 natural instincts out of 5 —

The Two Faces of Evil

Director Alan Gibson had worked for Hammer more than once prior to The Two Faces, but the single episode is without a doubt his best work for the studio. It's really amazing. I'll even go so far as to say it's almost Nic Roeg quality at times.
The hospital setting was beautifully lit and shot; the blinding white existing alongside the gray and black was reflective of certain parts of the story. I found the daylight scenes there intensely creepy; a feeling brought on by more than just the canted camera angles.
Like the previous episode, it's not cut from the traditional gothic horror template. It's a psychological terror experienced by a woman in her role as wife and mother as the world she knows and trusts begins to change. — 4 upturns out of 5 —

3 episodes, approx 51 minutes each.

Masters of Horror: Series Two: Volume Two (2006)

The second volume of Series Two contains the final six episodes. Once again, there may be a difference in running order between the R1 and R2 editions. I'm using the UK R2 editions. NA also got a full season box that included both volumes.

To start, Tom Holland directs a tale of a group of aged friends who did something morally wicked in their younger days and are now paying the price. It has a creepy ice cream van driven by a clown, for extra clichéd woefulness. — 1½ out of 5 —

The second is by Brad Anderson; it raises the bar of quality, It's about a supervisor at a tech support call centre (Chris Bauer) who, due to a personal tragedy, has an acute sense of hearing that turns everyday sounds into a kind of nails-on-blackboard agony. Anderson's taught style translates the pains of grief and pressure of life into elevated minutiae to a troubled mind; and like in Poe's Tell-tale Heart, the device functions as a fully engaging driving force. — 3 out of 5 —

The third is by Peter Medek. It's a story that relies on a clear subversion of expectations, both in its opening scene and its main underlying contrivance that suggests a treasured American historical figure was less perfect than public records claim. The 'creepy old-timer' shtick served more than one purpose, but was so overplayed that it failed to elevate the narrative much. Scholars of US history might get some jollies from the notion, I suppose. — 2 out of 5 —

The fourth is by Dir. Tobe Hooper. Tobe is undeniably skilled at establishing unease, but, for me personally, the intentionally messy camerawork works against it, blurring the nuance and pulling me out of the moment. If you feel the reverse is true, however, then TDT might register high on your list because an impressive level of foreboding tension exists beneath that stylistic choice. — 3 out of 5 —

The fifth is Dir. Norio Tsuruta's Dream Cruise, based on a short story by Kôji Suzuki, who's best known in filmic circles as the author of the works that Hideo Nakata's Dark Water (2002) and Ring (1998) films were based on. Dream Cruise, as you've probably guessed, also involves water. The weak framing, stupid plotting, overplayed sound effects, shit acting, lack of music, and reliance on Japanese horror clichés make it an utter washout.  — 1 out of 5 —

And finally, Dir. Ernest Roscoe Dickerson's entry sees two thrill-seeking late-teens visit a funeral home to see a dead body, late at night, naturally, when it's at its most creep-some. The location is used well and the black humour is fun for a time, but I did lose interest before the ending rolled around. (It's perhaps worth noting that I had an audio dropout around the 33 mins mark, during the pizza scene; I don't know if it's unique to my disc or the UK collection, in general.) — 1½ out of 5 —

I wanted a change from the horror genre after watching all of those, so I didn't bother with any of the extras on the second volume. The blurb states there are more than 10 hours of them.

6 episodes approx 55 minutes each (345 minutes total), split over 6 discs.

2 pizza slices out of 5

Mortal Kombat: Legacy II (2013)

The second collection of shorts in the MK anthology has more of a serialised structure than the character-centric vignettes of Series 1. Each story is split over 2 episodes this time, which are in turn part of a larger whole connected by a very specific locale. The contrast between past and present becomes a kind of running theme, while offering up some back story for certain characters.

It starts well. Episode 1 is like a violent HK movie. It doesn't have much of a plot, but focuses instead on showing Liu Kang’s relationship with the world he swore to protect and the one he left behind. It’s like an intro more than anything else, but that’s okay because all episodes have been simultaneously released for stream, so you don’t have to wait from week to week to get your fix.

The quality drops significantly in the middle, with some poor acting from the ladies, but see it through to the end and you’ll be rewarded with some Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa. There are a couple of other interesting guest stars, too.

Each episode of Series One had its own visual look, but things are more or less standardised throughout this time. The lighting that Tancharoen or his DP has opted for puts more emphasis on gritty realism than before. It’s certainly a more unified visual experience but consequently a less interesting one if, like me, you happened to like the fanciful parts of Series One.

10 episodes, approx 7 - 9 mins each (some are shorter, some are longer).

2½ ideals worth defending out of 5

Masters of Horror: Series Two: Volume One (2006)

More of the same kind of hit and miss anthology stories from many of the same people that were involved in Series One. This first half contains the first seven episodes. There may be a difference in running order between the R1 and R2 editions. I'm using the UK R2 editions. As with Series One, NA also got a full season box that included Volume Two.

The first is by Dario Argento and is a strange tale of nature’s revenge on the sins of man. Argento finds an opportunity for some misogynist violence, so I'm sure he had fun making it. — 3 out of 5 —

The second is by John Carpenter. It’s more suited to his talents than his S1 effort because it’s a good old fashioned siege movie. He adds Ron Perlman, a rubber suit monster and Cody Carpenter music to the mix for extra good times. The DoP made a few odd choices, but mostly it’s a successful and non-biased approach to a sensitive topic. — 4 out of 5 —

The third is by John Landis and is typically blackly humorous. In S1 Landis slipped in a reference to his most famous horror film. Here he slips in a reference to his S1 episode during a fantastic opening shot. — 3 out of 5 —

The fourth is by Rob Schmidt. It’s a vengeful spirit tale that’s been done much better by the Japanese, but Schmidt keeps it interesting and it’s the only one of the seven that briefly offers up some actual scares. — 3 out of 5 —

The fifth is by Joe Dante, who seems unable to keep politics out of his MoH contributions. It’s about a very specific kind of plague. It isn't very exciting, but then it turns things around and finishes on a high point. — 2½ out of 5 —

The sixth is by Stuart Gordon. It ticked all the boxes for me. It reunited Gordon with his Re-Animator (1985) star Jeffrey Combs, who portrays a poverty stricken Edgar Allan Poe in a tale woven around Poe’s The Black Cat. Poe fans will happy-clap at the references. It’s visually striking because much of the colour is drained from the negative giving it an aged quality. — 3½ out of 5 —

The seventh is by Mick Garris, loosely based on a story by Clive Barker called 'Revelations' (from Books of Blood Vol IV). It’s a story about imagination and belief that should appeal to fans of storytelling. It co-stars Christopher Lloyd and Tony Todd (who looks like he just stepped out of Midian). — 2½ out of 5 —

Overall, the episodes are of a higher quality than the first half of S1 but the package is let down this time by extras that aren't as extensive as before.

7 episodes, approx 55 minutes each (393 minutes total), split over 7 discs.

3½ friendly neighbours out of 5

Masters of Horror: Series One: Volume Two (2006)

Volume Two of MoH contains the final six episodes of the first season. You can find information on Volume One HERE. As before, there may be a difference in running order between the R1 and R2 editions. I'm using the UK R2 editions. NA also got a full season box that included both volumes.

The first is by Dario Argento, adapted from a ten-page comic book story by Bruce Jones. It's about attraction, repulsion and the lengths some people will go to in order to sate their obsessions (or escape from them). — 1 out of 5 —

The second is by Tobe Hooper, adapted from a story by Richard Matheson, and stars Robert Englund! That's sure to be good, right? Nope. The fast editing and edgy in-camera effects rob it of any promise it could've held. — 1½ out of 5 —

The third is by Takashi Miike. What the fuck, Miike? It's the Japanese auteur doing what he does best. It contains some genuinely chilling imagery. It's also sadistic and will be deeply disturbing for some viewers. It loses half a point for not having the Japanese parts spoken in actual Japanese. — 4 out of 5 —

The fourth is by Larry Cohen, adapted from a short story by David Schow. It features a hitch-hiker, a trucker, and a slew of murder victims. Some nice camera movements punctuate the boredom but mostly it remains vapid. — 2½ out of 5 —

The fifth is by William Malone, an attempt to subvert the 'trapped in a basement' nightmare scenario by adding some reasoning to the whole affair. I think it could've worked well as a short story, but as a film, aside from the occasional surreal flashback, it’s mostly dull. — 1½ out of 5 —

The sixth is by John McNaughton, adapted from a Clive Barker short. It’s Haeckel's Tale, the story of a man of science and a necromancer. If not for the painfully disappointing ending it would be great. It doesn't try to reinvent the genre, but instead finds a different way of presenting it. — 3 out of 5 —

Like the previous volume, it’s the quality of the extras included (over 16 hours this time) that helps raise the overall score.

6 episodes approx 55 minutes each (345 minutes total), split over 6 discs.

3 resurrections out of 5

Masters Of Horror: Series One: Volume One (2006)

Mick Garris, filmmaker, friend and critic of horror cinema assembled thirteen of the genre’s most celebrated directors together for the first Season of MoH. Each director was given one episode, lasting almost one hour. Volume One contains the first seven episodes. There may be a difference in running order between the R1 and R2 editions. I'm using the UK R2 editions. NA also got a full season box that included Volume Two.

The first is by John Carpenter and is the sole reason I bought the series. It’s occasionally interesting because it stars Udo Kier, who’s always fun to watch, but mostly it was disappointing and is uncharacteristic of Carpenter's work. But the music, scored by his son Cody, often feels like a modern interpretation of the classic Carpenter/Howarth sound; I liked that aspect. — 2½ out of 5 —

The second is by Stuart Gordon, an adaptation of a short HP Lovecraft tale titled 'Dreams in the Witch House.' I've not read the story in a long time, but I'm certain HPL didn't have a laptop in his. It tries hard to create tension, but the story is predictable and throwaway.  — 2 out of 5 —

The third is by Don Coscarelli and will likely appeal more to torture porn fans than it did to me. It’s a well-constructed split narrative that feels like it began life as a Texas Chainsaw clone, but it didn't do anything that we haven’t seen multiple times before. — 2 out of 5 —

The fourth is by series creator Mick Garris. Again, it’s interesting in how it’s presented (it’s told in flashback), but it’s the weakest of the seven stories. Garris also served as producer on all of the others, so maybe he was too busy to script anything interesting. Maybe.  — 1½ out of 5 —

The fifth is by Lucky McKee and stars McKee regular Angela Bettis. It plays around with conventions, and even when drifting into other genres it never loses sight of its goal. It’s horror comedy fun from beginning to end and is by far the best damn episode of this entire volume. — 4 out of 5 —

The sixth is by John Landis. Landis is known for injecting a large dose of black humour into his works, and his MoH is no exception. The story is plain ridiculous and goes nowhere, but it’s funny and the ever-reliable Brian Benben keeps it from becoming too much of a parody. — 2½ out of 5 —

The seventh and last is by Joe Dante. It seems as if every horror anthology needs some zombies, so Dante brings them. It’s referential to Romero and uses the Zombies as a vehicle for some kind of socio-political commentary, but it’s as dull as licking paint. —  1½ out of 5 —

Oddly, despite being ‘horror,’ none of the episodes are the slightest bit frightening.

Note: The sharp-eyed among you will notice that my final score isn't an average of all the others tallied, that's because the wealth of extras included, which clocks in at over 21 hours, helped raise it. Alongside the usual making of features, each director, except Landis and Dante, even provide their own commentary track.

7 episodes approx 55 minutes each (388 minutes total), split over 7 discs.

3 bugs before bedtime out of 5

Tales From the Crypt: Season 1 (1989)

Based off the spirit and essence of the EC comics '50s horror line, Tales From the Crypt season 1 is a scant six episodes, introducing us to the cadaverous storyteller the Crypt Keeper and his tales of the macabre. Each episode delivers the frights and gore peppered with the tongue-in-cheek dark humor which made the originals so fun to read. While not an extravagant season, it excels in casting fine character actors like William Sadler, Larry Drake, and M. Emmet Walsh to play the outsiders, wackos, and kooks which inhabit the show.

High points include "Only Sin Deep" where a struggling hooker pawns her beauty to the wrong man and in "The Man Who Was Death" a former executioner gives criminals a shocking end. The low point being the episode "Lover Come Hack to Me", a bloody and almost pointless affair of keeping one's love pure.

While abbreviated, the first season sets the ghoulish mood and humorous tone for future stories of the weird, the gruesome, and the ghastly.

An included special feature, the mini-documentary Tales From the Crypt: From Comic Books to Television compliments the set well with an in-depth look at the rise and fall of EC Comics publisher William Gaines and his horror/crime series. Comic book and entertainment insiders discuss the true story behind the success, downfall, and everlasting allure which the Tales From the Crypt comics created.

Buyer's Guide:
Available on a 2-disc DVD set

3 sinners get their pun-uppance out of 5

Re\Visioned: Tomb Raider Animated Series (2007)

An anthology of short animated tales featuring the virtual bra-busting Brit, Lara Croft, from a number of different writers and animators. Each creator puts their own unique spin on the Lara character, which range from the wonderfully inventive (Keys to the Kingdom) to the piss-poor self-parody (Revenge of the Aztec Mummy). None of them bother to waste time giving back-story or history. They assume that most viewers will already have knowledge of that from the games. The short format really doesn't allow for that kind of exposition, anyhow.

Actress Minnie Driver voices Lara in every episode. I wouldn't have put her on the list of candidates, but she does a fantastic job and if ever there's a feature-length Tomb Raider animation she’d now be my first choice. Both Minnie, and the series in general, were great.

I'll post a full list of contributors in the comments section, so check there if you want to know who was involved.

Further series of ‘Re\Visioned’ set to feature different video game characters was promised, but to my knowledge only the Tomb Raider one appeared.

10 episodes, approx 6 minutes each.

3½ sacred artefacts are nothing but trouble out of 5

Mortal Kombat: Legacy (2011)

MK:L is a prequel anthology mini-series giving a brief glimpse of the motivations behind some of the characters' eventual inclusion in the tournament of the first MK game. It helps if you're already familiar with their aesthetic and powers.

The opening episodes try to be gritty with moody lighting and an over-reliance on action clichés, slow motion debris, blood on the camera lens, extreme post-production colour correction, lens flare, etc; all that boring shit that teenagers love. It feels like a scene from a generic Xbox game. MK is based on a game series but it's a fantasy/mystical tinged fighting game, not a Splinter Cell bedroom infiltrator wank-fantasy. It may sound like I'm hating on this pretty bad, but I'm not. I just like to have a rant before I get to the good stuff. If it was a movie I'd judge it as such, but it wasn't, it was a series of Webisodes and as such I make allowances for the budget and format. In that respect, it triumphs.

It's shot in 2.35:1. The majority of the individual episodes focus upon just one or two characters. The film style changes to suit their background and given attributes. That po-faced forced realism of the beginning two-parter isn't representative of the series as a whole. It grows more diverse in how it presents people and places, eventually finding a balance between exposition and intrigue.

Anthologies are nearly always hit and miss, but happily MK:L has enough hit moments to recommended it to fans of the series. I liked it.

9 episodes, approx 10 minutes each.

3 Samurai don’t sing out of 5