Dennis Potter’s Cold Lazarus (1996)

The second part of Potter's final work requires you to have seen all four episodes of the first part, Karaoke (HERE). I won't drop ruinous spoilers about CL's plot, but I'll need to refer to Karaoke, so please think carefully before reading anything beyond this point if you've any interest in watching Karaoke and have yet to do so.

As we saw previously, armed with the knowledge of his failing heath, Daniel Feeld prepared for the future of the people he felt close to. In contrast, the author was unprepared for what awaited him in his own future, 374 years after his death.

The introduction of cryogenics into Karaoke's plot may have seemed odd in isolation, but it makes sense when you consider CL. Scientists unearth the frozen remains of Daniel and plug him into a machine that translates activity in his brain into visual images that can be recorded and analysed by a people who've lost sight of what it means to be human. Their society is in chaos and, for reasons that aren't fully explained, their historical records are inadequate. They believe that memories of the past may help them better understand their present.

The fact that memory, being the subjective construct that it is, is an inherently unreliable source of information is addressed a little but not enough to build a foundation for the entire process to stand solidly on. Similar criticisms can be applied to various parts of CL's plot. At times its reach overextends the length of its component parts, and the whole suffers. When it isn't doing that, when it sticks to more relatable concerns, it explores the nature of free will and deepens our understanding of why Daniel was the person he was in Karaoke.

The scientists are an odd bunch, only a few of whom are any good at acting, but luckily it's those few that get the most screen time. They're at the mercy of a hedonistic evil bitch named Martina Masdon, played with zeal by Diane Ladd. Martina is one of the most memorable characters, and yet many of her scenes are largely superfluous. I'm unsure if that was a kind of commentary in itself, but I'm convinced that some of the subtext is purposefully imbalanced.

On the flip side, some views are so blatant that they're like a punch in the face. I can imagine the author having one final laugh as he contemplated the BBC's reaction to a story about a corporate attempt to control a dying writer's mind.

4 episodes, approx 50 minutes each.

3½ button pushers out of 5

Cilla (2014)

I was born in the decade after the swinging sixties had swung their last, so my experience of Cilla Black while growing up was primarily as the woman on TV who said “lorra lorra laughs,” and “…here’s our Graham with a quick reminder.” I knew her musically from having performed the emotionally stirring theme song to the film Alfie (1966), the UK version at least, but I knew nothing of how she rose from being a music fan to embracing fame as a singer, so watching 'Cilla' was a real eye-opener. It’s also damn good. It ought to be because it's from the same writer, producer and director team that made Mrs Biggs (2012).

It begins in 1960, Liverpool, the same year and location in which The Beatles formed. Cilla’s own evolution runs parallel to theirs and even overlaps on occasion. As you’d expect, almost everyone speaks in a Liverpudlian accent. The hard ‘g’ and ‘–ckk’ sounds are better performed by some of the cast than by others, but everyone is easily identifiable as being Scouse.

Cilla is played by Sheridan Smith. She’s not a dead ringer, but when topped with the famous red hair and outfitted in the correct period fashions she definitely looks the part. The aesthetic trappings could've been all for naught if the voice wasn't authentic. Thankfully, Sheridan can really sing. She performed all tracks live on set, in both of Cilla’s unique styles, and it’s genuinely superb. I’d link an example on YouTube but removing them from context wouldn't be a good idea.

While the miniseries is primarily about the titular character, she didn't make the journey alone. It’s also the story of the devoted Bobby Willis, who played a pivotal role, and to a lesser extent the record producer Brian Epstein.

Directly after viewing the final episode I went looking for clips of the real Cilla singing in the studio to see how Sheridan compared. Doing so was instrumental in my developing a new appreciation for Cilla's talents. I see her now first and foremost as an artist, whereas before it was as presenter of crap TV.

3 episodes, approx 45 minutes each.

4 edge of the step moments out of 5

Coma (2005)

A South Korean miniseries set mostly inside a hospital that's almost completely abandoned, having been marked for closure. A young professional woman, Yoon Young (Lee Se Eun), is sent in to check insurance criteria are being met by the few remaining staff members, all of whom are reticent about why there's a single female patient still in the ward. The patient, Lee So Hee (Cha Soo Yun), is in a coma, unable to speak for herself. Why she's there and why she's comatose opens a door to a horror/mystery that leads to a dramatic and creepy conclusion. If you already have a morbid fear of hospitals, then you may want to avoid watching.

The building has ghosts: the dead kind that act independently, with long, face-obscuring hair and a grudge, and the haunting memory kind that are trapped in a moment, destined to replay a tragic event over and over.

Subsequent episodes simultaneously expand upon the sleeping girl's past and offer up new stories with new characters, each somehow tied into it. Within that framework are a small number of different time periods overlapping.

The narrative throws around a lot of what appear to be red herrings as it gathers the disparate threads together, but they weave into a satisfying conclusion, so don't get too frustrated if you feel a little lost from time to time.

It's lit in a very precise way. A lot of the time the colour is either drained out of the picture or the cold, murky appearance of the concrete is extended to every other aspect of production. The closest approximation I can think of is the aesthetic of most survival horror games: the flickering corridor lights, the shit-smeared and blood-stained half-tiled walls, etc.

An over-reliance on the now clichéd Asian horror sounds (clicking/grinding bones and scratching/shuffling corpse) was tiresome, but the series was aired in 2005 and that may have been less of an issue then. Had I been lucky enough to see it in 2005 I'm positive that I'd have liked it more.

5 episodes, approx 55 minutes each. The final episode is the best.

3 unsanctioned after hours operations out of 5

Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos (1986)

Chuck's cartoon counterpart is a US government operative who moustaches his way through five chucklesome episodes with the help of his ethnic stereotype Karate Kommandos. Chuck and his team fight for freedom against the evil Claw, the leader of VULTURE and owner of a dangerous metallic fap hand. I have no idea what VULTURE stands for, or if it's even an acronym.

The Claw has his own team of subordinates that he sends into battle against the Kommandos; among them is the awesomely named Super Ninja.

It's a good thing our hero has "nerves of steel and strength to match," because his recklessness gets him into all kinds of near-death scrapes. And it's because of him that his friends get into fights, too. Sort your shit out, Chuck.

It's rather worrying that he's a role model who teaches by example but allows a teenager with nunchucks on his team! The kid gets kidnapped more than once.

I suspect the reason it didn't go beyond five episodes is that a lot of kids didn't care about Chuck in the 80s; to them he probably just looked like someone's dad. It's mostly due to nostalgia for bad 80s action movies that he's achieved the kind of fame he now enjoys. If you're one of the people that do care, or that has the nostalgia, then you might get a laugh or two from the short-lived series.

5 episodes, approx 22 minutes each.

2½ breached dykes out of 5

Copper (2013)

If you want the gloves to come off... so be it.

The gloves certainly do come off for season 2 of BBC America's period drama, but it is mostly to the show's detriment. The plot becomes cluttered and haphazard with too many plotlines and characters coming and going that nothing is ever finished. The first episode sets up one character as a terrorizing and fearless villain that could easily have been an interesting arc for Detective Corcoran to go against, but is then dropped by the end of the episode. This could have been a clever bait and switch, but clearly isn't as it happens about 3 more times over the course of the season like the writers got bored or distracted by something shiny and switch to something else at the drop of a hat with all the indecisiveness of a housecat deciding whether it wants to go outside or not. Interesting events that are part of the time period like disease outbreaks and opium addiction are set up as major defining moments and then discarded with no resolution and minimal effect on the main story arc. What resolution there is from season 1 is written off in a rather implausible way just to seemingly get back to the status quo of season 1 like the show-runners finally pulled themselves out of their cocaine and/or alcohol binge haze to notice the colossal mess they were making and tried to clean it up in the worst way.

When the show does get back to what it does best (vicious period drama crimes and character dialogue) there are glimmers of the entertaining show it once was, but it mostly tries to fill the void with extended gore and basic cable nudity. The plots set up aren't even bad per se, just muddled because they were all shoved together into a gelatinous mass instead of spreading it out and letting what worked play through to some sort of closure. All of it is then dropped at the end of the season for an unnecessary and shoehorned bit involving Lincoln's assassination that is cheesy and should really have had nothing to do with the rest of the show. The show comes back to end on a regular cliffhanger, but then it was cancelled making it one more unresolved moment to add to the pile. Donal Logue puts in a decent turn as a sleazy politician, even though despite his actual Irish heritage he seemed out of place at times and Alfre Woodard makes a brief cameo of sorts as a freed slave that was palatable, but could have been better. Though it was one of the few plot threads that actually had a full arc, so that's something. Overall nothing other than the set and wardrobe designers were really on point and what character drama there is to enjoy is not up to snuff for the bar the show set for itself in its first season.

Buyer's Guide:
Available on iTunes and Amazon Instant Video with a forthcoming DVD release.

2 Sympathetic anti heroes that aren't sympathetic out of 5

Cleopatra 2525: Season One (2000)

Cleo (Jennifer Sky) went for a boob job because she's a shallow bimbo stripper and that's what shallow bimbo strippers do, but complications during surgery meant she was placed in suspended animation. She wakes 525 years later in the year 2525, alone and frightened. The shit had largely hit the fan during those years, forcing humanity to retreat underground. Above ground is ruled by armed flying machines known as Baileys, of which little is known.

Cleo 2525 is from the makers of Xena: Warrior Princess and shares a similar sense of fun and disregard for logic. It follows three female freedom fighters determined to take back what the Bailey's took from them.

It was my introduction to the wonderful Gina Torres; her character, Hel, brings a strength and compassion to the group that makes her perfect for team leader. Hel receives guidance from an unseen voice, known simply as Voice, which is a kind of female disembodied Charlie (of Charlie’s Angels), delivering critical intel.
The trigger-happy Sarge (Victoria Pratt) is Hel’s partner. She struggles with her emotions because they occasionally get in the way of her shooting things.
And then, of course, Cleo who is the comedy relief. Her history enables the writers to reference 20th Century pop culture, which has the added effect of reinforcing her fish out of water position in the future time period. As the series progresses she becomes less shallow, morphing into someone endearing.

The show has many faults, but it never tries to be high art. Each episode erupts into at least one firefight wherein the women back-flip and somersault for no apparent reason while lasers fire randomly in all directions. Despite living underground everyone is well-tanned. Their mode of transport is laughable. Nevertheless, the strong characters and the short running time work in the show's favour. Its punchy, fast paced comic-book style is perfect for filling a brief hiatus between something better. There's a recurring villain named Creegan that's excellent. but the less I reveal about him the better.

It won't win any awards, and it even got cancelled after Season Two, but if you're not averse to parking your brain in Dumb Town and enjoying some fast cheese then Cleo 2525 could fill that hole.

14 episodes, approx 21 minutes each.

3 women with more than just tits out of 5

Copper (2012)

BBC America's first original show follows Detective Kevin Corcoran in 1860s New York as he searches for answers in the disappearance of his wife and the murder of his daughter while he was away fighting in the American Civil War. He searches while simultaneously solving crimes in the neighborhood of Five Points. He is known for being relentless and solving many cases. Unbeknownst to many though is he does it with the help of a doctor friend who he keeps secret because he is black and so the evidence gained through his scientific inquiry would be racially dismissed. Also with the help of his fellow immigrant cops they will catch criminals and root out corruption in a violent and corrupt manner.

The show could be dismissed as another procedural, but makes the most of the time period it's set in by solving crimes through old fashioned methods as this is before the advent of forensics and miranda rights. Also the characters are wonderfully flawed and interesting, like Corcoran himself who is probably the most upstanding dude around, but isn't above prostitutes, beating information out of suspects or generally bending the rules to solve a case. Or the brothel madam who dreams of high society despite the fact she gets nothing but neglect and derision from it. The racism proves an interesting plot device, but is somewhat underused which is puzzling given the setting. As Corcoran gets closer to answers, more questions will be raised and more violence will be dealt with.

The show is very well put together with characters and story but feels a little underwhelming in the sets. They don't feel as organic as the sets in say Hell On Wheels, another period drama. But that is understandable on it's cable budget and is just a smudge on an otherwise great 10 episodes.

Buyer's Guide:
Available now on iTunes and Amazon Instant Video.

4 Brass knuckles cracking real knuckles out of 5

Children of the Dog Star (1984)

While staying at her uncle's New Zealand farm, twelve-year-old Gretchen is drawn to the unusual "brass daisy" weathervane atop the barn. Neither her aunt nor uncle knows when, why or how it got there. Gretchen later learns that local Maori legends tell of something unnatural sleeping nearby that mustn't be awakened. When she begins to experience strange dreams, she suspects that all the separate incidents may somehow be connected.

Children of the Dog Star was a mid-80s children's TV show that wasn't afraid to offer lofty concepts to the young, while simultaneously keeping things simple by utilising basic character traits that would connect with a wide range of viewers, such as the inquisitive child, the neglected child, and the misunderstood child that frequently finds trouble even when not seeking it.

It splits the adults into three distinct camps, too: the money-hungry villains who care nothing for conservation; the caring and patient guardian who's respectful of local traditions; and at the other end of the spectrum, the simple folk who like to find the good in everyone, but have neglected their history. The last lot are painted much too blank, coming across more like village idiots.

It presents the kind of story you'd have found in the teen section of the library, the suitable for all ages team-up adventure that sees children overcome obstacles and attempt to uncover hidden truths, while simultaneously finding their roles in life. It's mostly predictable and safe. However, the last episode pulled out all the tricks. I was surprised at the turn of events taken.

6 episodes, approx 28 minutes each.

3 kids with too much time on their hands out of 5

Chocky's Challenge (1986)

The title of the final part of the Trilogy raises an intriguing question: is it Chocky setting a challenge or is it Chocky being challenged? The answer is satisfying to a degree, but except for one other instance of inference the writing is more concerned with answering such questions than offering up food for thought.

The biggest fault is that the first of Chocky’s children, Matthew, who was the glue that held the whole thing together, is absent most of the time. His notoriety has forced him away from the project, meaning he’s very little to offer the others as they continue to work toward Chocky’s goal.

That leaves young Albertine as the main protagonist. She’s joined by some new children pulled from an unintentional(?) ethnically racist roster; a clever Asian that plays the piano, and a black kid from Boston who looks like he just stepped out of an 80's pop music video. Neither of the new additions are much good at acting.

The cynical adults aren't the only villains. There are others watching the children, others with a deeper agenda than to simply recover from hurt pride. It mimics events of the previous series but they no longer feel fresh, nor do they carry the same sense of surprise. Nevertheless, it's still better than most of the crap they show on kid's TV today.

6 episodes, approx 25 mins each.

2½ gestalt children out of 5

The Cape: The Complete Series (2011)

Honest cop Vince Faraday is framed for a crime he didn't commit, and his good name dragged through the shitter by the media. To more effectively battle the corrupt system that framed him, and to simultaneously clear his name, he enters the underworld and assumes a new identity: Vince Faraday becomes The Cape!

You can probably already tell by that intentionally cheesy synopsis that The Cape is a superhero series that doesn't do anything particularly new or inventive. What it does is give the familiar a new skin, and it does it with tongue-in-cheek while keeping one hand on the accelerator. It has the camp charm of the 1960s Batman TV Series, with the action and scripting of a modern TV show. Its greatest strength is that it revels in its comic book inspirations, and if you embrace that same sense of adventure you'll probably enjoy it a lot more.

Vince is played by David Lyons. I'd not seen him act before. He starts out a little blank, but gets better as the character develops more. He learns to brood.

What really pulled me in was the supporting cast, who are wonderful: Keith David brings the awesome; Summer Glau brings the intelligent and sexy; and Vinnie Jones brings the Vinnie Jones.

On the flip side, the main villain, Chess, lacks any real menace or charisma. He's the typical corporate bad guy with an endless supply of cash to fund his criminal endeavours. Mercifully, he isn't the only antagonist.

The introduction of a criminal collective known as Tarot offered some exciting possibilities for the future, but they never got the chance to flourish because the series was cancelled just when it was starting to get really good.

10 episodes, approx 44 minutes each.

3 times it's okay to stalk your wife if you're legally dead out of 5

Case Closed: Season 4 (2010)

Where there is crime there is Conan Edogawa, detective to confront it but as the tide rolls in on Case Closed season 4, it would be more befitting to state wherever Conan stands a murder isn't far off. As the series ventures past the 100th episode mark it's obvious the stories are running low on drama as there are more two-part episodes than ever this time around. And as lovable as the cast of characters are, some change to the line-up would be welcome. Kudo's rival-turned-confidant Harley makes a few appearances but is hardly a regular. The original language dialogue with subtitles still reigns over the dubbed. As I found in the mystery "Massacre Night" the writing for the English version struggles to make sense of certain Japanese-specific clues like kanji.

As in usual television fashion, there are 100th episode festivities which include a feature length story, superior animation and coloring, special guest appearances, and yet another tease as Rachel gets close to unveiling Conan's true identity. Unfortunately the feature is really just two investigations back-to-back and ends up being divided into the regular format, dissolving any sort of dramatic build-up. The special appearances include Rachel's mother and Jimmy's jetsetting parents who both figure in to the latter investigation. The show tries to add some much needed flavor once again with new opening title and closing credit sequences but what Case Closed really needs is a permanent change to the main mystery's structure. It needs to be shook up to create some waves or it will continue to grow tepid and unimaginative.

Buyer's Guide:

Available as a 4 disc boxset containing episodes 80-105

2 Rachel is as clueless as Lois Lane out of 5

Chocky's Children (1985)

The second series picks up one year after the events of the first (see HERE). Young Matthew Gore is again the main focus but, like the title suggests, he’s not alone. Chocky has other children to whom she's been communicating. There was no John Wyndham source material to draw from this time, but the Wyndham estate did give its permission for the episodes to be made.

The story expands upon something that was mentioned but remained underdeveloped in the first series. It retains the mood and basic structures of before. However, the deep psychology of the previous work is absent, leaving an occasionally melodramatic tale of children from very different backgrounds forging an intimate friendship based on unusual foundations.

The protective father figure is also absent this time, leaving the majority of the adults to be either straightforward bad guys or single-minded, lacking faith or imagination. For a while things are good. The first four episodes are well-paced, the dramatic tension and contrasts show potential, and the young stars once again out-act the adults, but it descends into the realms of the ridiculous in the final episode. Ultimately, it's not as good as the first series but should still be enough to please fans who hold fond memories.

The methods Chocky employs to contact the hosts are glossed over; perhaps the writers feared they wouldn’t get away with that kind of implication a second time?

6 episodes, approx 25 mins each.

2½ brain fevers out of 5

Case Closed: Season 3 (2010)

The prolific detective Jimmy Kudo returns in season 3 to work behind the adolescent mask of Conan Edogawa and behind the scenes of Richard Moore's detective agency, unraveling murderous plots in an effort to close the case on crime for good.  The show receives a bit of a facelift as the opening and closing title sequences and songs are revamped, adding suspense as Conan closes in and sentimentality as Jimmy and Rachel ponder their love for one another.

Through episodes 53-79 Kudo faces off against a wide array of adversaries including a black-hearted monk, a resentful artist, a phantasmal samurai, a costumed monster, and a washed up movie villain.  These criminals employ a number of cunning and lethal tricks to accomplish their goals though some seem far-fetched considering the small amount of time and materials each had within their means.  Begrudgingly Kudo remains in the dark concerning his big shrink but in the episode "Game Gone Bad" he literally runs headlong into a lead and in the series' first three part mystery he goes up against a living, breathing Knight Baron, the fictitious evildoer from the pages of his father's long running series of novels.  But the two-part season finale trumps even that as Conan encounters the infamous and flashy thief the Kaitou Kid, leading to a cat and mouse chase which leaves everyone, the audience included, breathless and wanting more.

While there are a few episodes that don't involve it, murder is the main dish but it would behoove the writers to add more variety to the stories.  It surprises me that Japan's population isn't dwindling with the number of killings portrayed on the series.  As Conan sets the record straight, each culprit instantly breaks down and reveals their motives but certain ones are flimsy at best and feel unworthy of the crime committed such as in the two-parter "Footsteps of a Hero".  While certain plots are derivative and some motives weak, you have to appreciate the writers level of creativity in hatching so many mysteries over the run of the show.  The stories are what keep Case Closed alive and the intrigue is not lost, even as Detective Conan ventures deeper into the criminal mind, proving the series' longevity and lasting spirit.

Buyer's Guide:
Available as a 4 disc boxset containing episodes 55 - 82.

4 devious means of fishing wire out of 5

Nutted by Borderline

Case Closed: Season 2 (2009)

On the second season, detective Jimmy Kudo not only proves "one truth prevails" but that crime is commonplace as his minor self Conan Edogawa faces off against an array of suspects, each one testing his top-notch cognitive abilities through 26 episodes.  The saga continues as young Conan devotes his time to solving cases which emerge at every turn, from Richard Moore's agency to the Junior Detective League to simple random encounters with Rachel, a dull moment is never spent.

While some episodes feel rushed as character designs appear loose and plots fall flat, there are still a number of thrilling stories along the way.  Suspense is added by putting main characters in mortal danger which Rachel finds out in one of my favorite two-part episodes, "Mountain Villa Murder". Introducing new characters such as Rachel's mother (Richard's ex-wife) and a high school detective rival of Kudo while confronting past plot holes like where exactly Conan's parents are, and if Jimmy can ever regain his original appearance, keep the show fresh.  And while the first season established a formula which became tiresome after so many episodes, it gives comedic ammunition to the dialogue this time around as characters comment on past staples.  Richard almost sees his catnaps coming as he drowsily whispers, "here we go again" and sometimes wonders if Conan knows more than he is letting on.

The same Saturday morning cartoon formula does continue but the story contains enough surprises, facing long-running mysteries and introducing new characters who promise to add drama and intrigue in future seasons of Case Closed.

Buyer's Guide:
Available as a 4 disc boxset containing episodes 29 - 54.

4 awkward moments in the bath with Rachel out of 5

Nutted by Borderline

Chocky (1984)

Chocky is adapted from the novel of the same name by John Wyndham. I've not read the book, so can’t comment on how accurate or faithful the adaptation is. It features a young boy, Matthew, who is contacted by the titular Chocky. Chocky speaks only to Matthew, using him to ask unusual questions of the adults. The change in his behaviour soon draws attention to the boy.

I’d not seen the TV series since I was ten or eleven-years-old. Since then, I've assimilated so much sci-fi that the concept no longer seems fresh, but viewing it from an adult perspective, sympathising for the first time with the parents of young Matthew as well as Matthew himself, gave me a whole different insight into what the series was actually about. It intrigued me as a child and was somewhat frightening. I'm now aware that it touches on a number of deep concepts I'd little opinion about back then: science, religion, family and cognitive development. It doesn't delve too deeply or get too preachy because it is a kid’s show after all, but the themes are there and they're important to the narrative.

Thematically, it takes a dramatic turn in the final episode, cranking up the drama but still manages to keep it within kid-friendly levels. Adults will understand the terror that's implied, but kids hopefully won’t. It occurred to me during those moments that the same drama was present all along in a slightly different form but was underplayed so as not to frighten a young audience.

If you have fond memories of the show from way back (don’t count the years, you’ll get depressed) I don’t think you’ll be disappointed with a reunion. It’s dated visually but the important parts hold up well under scrutiny.

If you’re new to it you may have certain preconceptions of what a TV show should deliver that may not be met. Shame on you.

6 episodes, approx 25 mins each.

3½ swirly things in the corner of your room out of 5

Case Closed: Season 1 (2009)

The anime series Case Closed follows the teenage detective whiz Jimmy Kudo as he lands himself in trouble with a dangerous element, leaving his deductive mind in the body of Conan Edogawa, the child persona he conjured from two famous mystery authors, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Edogawa Rampo.  As you proceed to the ending sequence you will notice the first credit as Reversioned by FUNimation Productions.  In the Americanized version, the series title, character names, locations, opening and ending theme music, and most things Japanese for that matter, have been altered.  The original title being 'Detective Conan' starring Shin'ichi Kudo in the title role.  As an anime purist, all these modifications would have bothered me had I not already become a fan of the show when this version aired on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim animation block a few years back.  The English-dubbed voices fit very well to the characters and the writing stays almost as true to the source material.  Though I immensely appreciate the original Japanese dialogue track with subtitles, as I can discover the show all over again.

After Kudo's big shrink he stays with Ran (Rachel), a former friend and love interest, and her father the famous yet bumbling private detective Kogoro Mori (Richard Moore).  This cements Conan's chance to tag along on cases, and while Moore jumps to the wrong conclusions the pint-sized detective foils the criminals' schemes.  Confined to the limitations of an adolescent, Conan utilizes various gadgets created by his personal friend Professor Agasa, such as a Voice-Altering Bow Tie, Power Kick Shoes and an Anesthetic Watch Gun, among others that conveniently come in handy for all his sleuthing needs.

Like most television shows, a formula is followed and with Case Closed, Conan always saves the day by the end of each episode.  While watching the anime on a nightly basis this formula became tiresome so I recommend viewing it on a more sporadic schedule to ensure the cases remain fresh and exciting.  With its cartoonish method of animation and comedy, I had trouble discerning its target audience as it also contains graphic death scenes and such content as suicide, murder, revenge and assassination.  So I find it more suitable for teenage and older age groups.  And I realize the story stays strong as Kudo remains a child but a hint at the organization which perpetrated the original crime would have been welcome towards the end of the first season.  Instead the episodes continue on the same formula which suggests a lengthy saga as Kudo plies his craft as the pint-sized detective Conan Edogawa, proving his doctrine of "One Truth Prevails."

Buyer's Guide:
Available as a 4 disc boxset containing episodes 1 - 28.

4 sleep-inducing needles to the back of poor Kogoro Mori's neck out of 5

Nutted by Borderline

Children of the Stones (1977)

Young Matthew Brake and his astrophysicist father, Adam, arrive in Milbury, a small English village built inside a megalithic stone circle. Adam is there to examine the stones, as his job dictates. Matthew begins to carry out his own investigation into the townspeople, who resemble something from a pagan Village of the Damned.

It's over twenty years since I last saw Children of the Stones. It scared the living hell out of me as a kid, and watching the opening credits again a few days ago it was clear it was going to give me a dose of the wiggins even now. It sure did. It's uncomfortably eerie, and bleeds atmosphere from every twist and turn. It's like Robin Hardy's The Wicker Man (1973) for children, as wrong as that sounds.

It has similar production values to early Doctor Who episodes, so don't expect anything remarkable there or in the prop department.

On the plus side, the direction is surprisingly shrewd, the young actors rarely put a foot wrong, and the adults are similarly believable. In comparison to the interiors, the exterior scenes are shot on location at Avebury and, shitty British lighting notwithstanding, they've aged like a particularly fine wine.

The thing that'll likely remain in your mind the longest after viewing is the eerie music. Haunting doesn't even begin to describe it. It makes me shrink in my skin.

7 episodes, approx 28 mins long each.

4 pretty phantasmagorical things with an F out of 5

Crusade (1999)

Crusade is the first failed spin-off from Babylon 5. In the year 2267 a race called the Drakh, bumming around like glue-bags now the Shadow War has ended, release a plague upon the Earth in a final act of douche vengeance. Consequently, all life on Earth will terminate in approximately five years if a cure isn't found.

Earth Gov orders the destroyer ship Excalibur to scour the galaxy, dig beneath alien rocks and generally make themselves a pain in the butt of everyone else in order to find a cure.

The series managed only 13 episodes before being canned. In truth, it wasn't due to the poor quality of the series, it was the TNT network being interfering bints. If you listen to the episode commentaries you'll discover that JMS had big plans for years 2-5: leftover Shadow tech; government cover-ups; the return of everyone's favourite bad guy behind a badge, Alfred Bester; a magical sword; and something called an Apocalypse Box, which you'll understand if you watch the show. Things could have got good.

Much of the cast are unspectacular. Captain Gideon (Gary Cole) is two dimensional; he's supposed to be a stubborn gambler type but he comes off as wooden. His second in command, Lt Matheson (Daniel Dae Kim), is limp, restricted in both his abilities and his function. The only two interesting characters, a female thief named Dureena (Carrie Dobro) and a Technomage named Galen (Peter Woodward), are criminally underused. Woodward steals the show; his ability to portray intrigue and pathos are almost equal that of his famous father, Edward. Additionally, there are a few cameos from B5 cast members to keep fans happy.

If you do watch it take note, because of the studio interference you have the option of the original broadcast order, the revised Sci Fi Channel broadcast order, or the chronological order to choose from. Either way, due to unfilmed episodes, none of those options offer an acceptable linear experience.

The music isn't by Christophe Franke this time, and his absence is painfully obvious.

1½ phallic shaped spaceships out of 5

Star Wars The Clone Wars (2008)

The debut movie for the new GCI series that chronicles the battles fought during the 3 year time span between Attack of the Clones & Revenge of the Sith is basically the first 3 episodes of the TV show edited together and released theatrically.

The story finds Jabba the Hutt’s son being kidnapped and whoever can recover the Huttlet will gain the favor of the Hutts along with their strategically important hyperspace routes. You will be reminded of this every 8 minutes or so. But what’s the real story is the addition of a character that never existed before. One whose presence could very well completely change the way Episode III would have played out if she had been made before the final film! Or just end up as a quick grab at the audience of 5-12 year old girls and be ungraciously discarded by series end.

She’s the “kid” character that children are meant to see themselves in and while she is kinda annoying at times she’s not as bad as she could have been. Thing is the exchanges with her for the most part aren’t all that engaging either.  Another new character to keep an eye on is the clone leader of the 501^st Legion of Stormtroopers, Captain Rex.

While Genndy Tartakovsky had nothing to do with this Iteration sadly, they did keep his style and while it looks good on some things like Yoda and the droids the actual human characters look rather awkward in the simplistic cubist style of Gendy when rendered in 3-D. In fact it does the unthinkable and makes Anakin even more wooden then Hayden Christensen. The hardware on the other hand is all taken from the movie’s CG models so they’re spot on and the environments are alright if not somewhat run of the mill and vacant. Though there were 2 different places that looked so much the same that knowing who was where when got a tad confusing.

Audio wise the sound effects are all genuine Star Wars with Ben Burtt’s iconic noises but the music department is extremely lacking. While there are several remixes and re-recordings of John Williams masterful scores there’s also a bunch of shitty world music along with other vexing arrangements peppered throughout that wouldn’t cut the mustard even if it wasn’t in a Star Wars program.

The voice talent brings back a few of the original Clone Wars actors while replacing others and has Samuel L. Jackson & Christopher Lee reprise their roles along with the ever present Anthony Daniels.

All in all not a bad way to kick off a show; simple straight forward plot, reintroducing old faces while bringing in new ones, ok sword fights, ok gun battles, the dialogue isn’t as terrible as hayden & Natile’s yet is still bland much of the time, and the production is all uniform yet in the end it’s missing something. It doesn’t quite have that “right feel” and instead comes off like one of those cartoons based off of a pre-existing movie that just copies all the memorable stuff and goes on auto pilot instead of adding to the world and exploring it. It says Star Wars but it just doesn’t feel very much like Star Wars or anything else I’d like for it to feel.

Buyer’s Guide:

It’s available on DVD and shouldn’t be too hard to find or too pricy.

3 Jabba’s gay uncle; Capote the Hutt out of 5   

THE CORNER [2000]

"We sitting here day after day making ourself a little bit less human."

Before David Simon brought us the HBO masterpiece The Wire, he took us to The Corner, a mini-series based upon his non-fiction book of the same name, co-written by Wire writer Ed Burns.

Following the lives of a poverty-stricken family living in the drug slums of West Baltimore, The Corner is raw, gritty, haunting and void of any sense of hope. Actor/director Charles S. Dutton introduces each episode by interviewing one of the characters in the series as if they were in a documentary. It's a bizarre step to take but works really well as it gives the viewer a stronger sense of realism and existence into this "foreign" world.

Broken up into 6 parts, each member of the family is given two centric episodes apiece. T.K. Carter portrays the loser of a father with such heartbreaking presence, you just want to reach into the screen and smack some sense into him. Khandi Alexander blew my mind with her disturbing performance as the drug-addicted mother who seems to suffer from a Jekyll and Hyde persona. Finally the son, played by relatively unknown actor Sean Nelson, is an anger-fueled drug-peddler with no qualms being nothing more than a dealer to his troubled parents. The cast of supporting characters are just as good as they pop in and out of the family's lives.  Wire fans will be surprised to see so many actors portraying roles the complete opposite from what they would go on to play.

Another pleasant surprise is the neighborhood that plays an equally powerful role in both shows with a stunning presence. Doorsteps, street lamps and obviously corners are so recognizable, you'll half-expect Omar Little to come strutting around the next turn with a shotgun in hand.

While The Wire portrayed the violent criminal organization aspects of drug dealing, The Corner explores the lives of the addicts and the terrible lives they struggle to get a grasp on. It's very unsettling to watch and difficult to ever really warm up to, which is a good thing. It means the writers did their jobs right, unlike most American drug-addict films. It's the world most folks shamefully tend to ignore and turn away from.

These aren't bad people...they just aren't very good either.
They're human.

MUST SEE EPISODES:

The first episode: Gary's Blues...only so you'll watch the rest.

EPISODES TO AVOID:
Simply not happening. It's too short and neatly packaged to miss a single episode.

4 "Thanks"givings out of 5