Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000-10)

Nothing I’ve personally experienced is a better representation of absurdist humor, as I understand the concept, than ATHF. This review is going to be intensely brief, because it’s the exact sort of thing that can only be appropriately discussed by quoting lines from it. Don’t let anyone on youtube tell you different, or get upset at you because of it. It’s genuinely the only manner of discourse that makes ANY sense, because this show makes NO sense. It’s not intended to. When you watch these ten to twelve minute episodes, expect the endings to be sudden, both in terms of narrative and logic. They follow an anthropomorphic group of fast food items and their sweatpants and wife-beater sporting neighbor. Master Shake is an ego-driven (essentially powerless) megalomaniac, Meatwad is an adorably naive weirdo, and Frylock mostly tries to ruin their fun, while still usually contributing to it in some fashion. Carl...Carl is god. Plenty of ancillary characters crop up repeatedly to fuel their timeless shenanigans, as well.

If you’ve never seen a second of the show, go watch a few clips. There are loose plot structures afoot, but you really won’t be missing anything in terms of context and being spoiled isn’t actually something that can happen, here. As long as you’ve seen the above four in action, you’ve seen enough to make a decision. Outside of the episode Robots Everywhere, I don’t personally feel that the quality drops noticeably or objectively over the course of the core show’s run. What I mean by that is that the last few seasons were actually given new names, which all still contained ‘Aqua.’ Those later seasons are not on DVD, and consequently, I do not have them and have not seen them. I’m not one for watching things on television as they air, so this is mostly how I’ve experienced the series. Know that the seasons don’t perfectly match up with what is included on each DVD volume. Two episodes of Season 1 are on Volume 2. Season 2 is spread across Volumes 2 and 3. Aqua Teen Hunger Force proper is available on seven dedicated releases and a shared volume branded as the season entitled Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1. There’s also one movie.

I said ‘objectively’ in the previous paragraph because, to me, the first few volumes FEEL more iconic. I believe this is simply because I’ve watched them enough for most of their lines to become permanent references in my cultural repertoire. The episodes on the fifth through eighth volumes are not any less creative or in any significant way lacking. I simply haven’t committed the same amount of time to them. I should fix that.

Guess this wasn’t so brief after all~

5 Unfathomable Scumbags out of 5

Kamen Rider Agito Special: A New Transformation (2001)

This was aired between episodes 35 and 36 and you’ll want to watch it then, too, as this conveys all of the emotional significance behind Agito’s final form. The debut of it in the show itself (in episode 37) assumes you’ve seen this as there’s not much in the way of specific explanation. It's worth noting that G3 Mild appears here.

The Andromeda Strain (2008)

At time of writing, director Robert Wise's 1971 version of The Andromeda Strain is one of the better films that I've seen based on the works of Michael Crichton, so there was some trepidation when I decided to watch an updated version made for TV, but curiosity won me over. Happily, it turned out to be pretty good.

The previous film had a distinctly 70s appeal with a fascinating visual look, whereas the new one just looks like every other modern TV show that features shady governments run by self-important, ambitious pricks with more money than morals; but it looks great, if that’s your thing.

The team have a lot more high-tech equipment at their disposal this time and consequently the danger level within the lab is lessened. When you see multimillion dollar mechanical marvels your first thought is no longer, 'That shit could break any minute! Emergency exit, please, timely manner!'

A second story runs concurrently outside the underground lab environment. I can’t say if that was in the original novel or not, because I've not read it. It injects some action scenes into what could've been an otherwise static display of scientific methodology by having a journalist poke his nose into the military’s response on the surface. The aura of secrecy is carried through into the low key way they respond to the external threat. It was my least favourite aspect but that doesn't mean it was in any way irritating, because it wasn't.

My only real dislike was the way the story (or the final cut) neglected to follow up on the human subjects that were held in the lab. Did they survive? Are they still under quarantine? Did they become overnight reality TV sensations?

The music by Joel J. Richard is good on occasion. The action moments in particular reminded me of John Murphy’s work and anything JM gets my attention.

2 episodes, approx 90 mins each. Alternatively, split into 4 episodes, approx 45 mins each in some regions.

3 growing concerns out of 5

The A-Team: The Complete Series (1983–87)

I was reminded recently that the question, "Why do you watch that crap?" makes me less inclined to validate the reasons for my own choices and instead more aware of the hidden agenda of the person asking it. It's not a genuine inquiry. It's a thinly disguised insult. With that in mind, I feel sorry for anyone who didn't have The A-Team in their front room as a kid. Not having Sergeant First Class 'B.A.' Baracus, Colonel John 'Hannibal' Smith, Lieutenant Templeton 'Face' Peck and Captain 'Howling Mad' Murdock to provide escapism and feed the imagination is like having an integral part of a happy childhood denied you. It's like having never played with LEGO. It's like having never tasted strawberry sherbets in summer.

Being a fan of The A-Team was a privilege; one that was available to every sighted person who owned a working TV, whether it was the rich kid with a silver spoon feeding both ends simultaneously, or the ostracised, abused kid with an alcoholic father whom everyone thought was destined to be the same.

The show taught us that with good friends and a little ingenuity we could stand up to the bullies. (It made me want friends that I could rely on as much as the team relied on each other. I don’t know if I ever had them. I like to think that I had.)

It taught us that money isn't important to happiness, which was the opposite of what most corporate 80s TV programs wanted us to think, and it repeatedly showed that a selfless good deed is its own reward.

It taught us that Hannibal loves it when a plan comes together.

It taught us that villains will always get up afterwards with nothing more serious than dizziness and a bruised ego. But that part was a lie. In so doing, whether intentional or not, that same lie taught us that real life wasn't always like TV.

In the past year I've thought more than a dozen times that whichever post I'm working on at the time is the last one I'm making on this particular site, but I keep coming back. It's now clear to me why: I want to give all the people who get asked "Why do you watch that crap?" an incentive to revisit the reasons why they did watch it and to remember what it was that they gained from doing so. If you love something, scream it from the rooftops.

(What you're reading isn't the kind of review I was expecting to write when I sat down. I'd planned some jokes about B.A.'s bad acting, Hannibal's bad disguises, Murdock's tee-shirts, Face's shameless sexism and how in a pinch the team could build a tank from an egg box, but you've heard all those jokes before. This way, when the time comes for me to ride off into the sunset, I'll be entirely satisfied.)

98 episodes (5 Seasons), approx 47 minutes each, split over 27 discs.

5 wheel cams out of 5

American Gothic (1995–96)

Welcome to Trinity, South Carolina, home to ten-year-old Caleb Temple (Lucas Black) and his sixteen-year-old sister Merlyn (Sarah Paulson). The home life of the Temple children is far from happy, meaning Caleb's had to grow up fast. He may be only ten but he's a lot savvier than most kids his age, which is a good thing because his future is murky. Events will force him to take a path that can lead to either of two destinations, and that's only if he can fight the conflict that rages within him. His older sister will try to protect him, but she's got problems of her own; you could say she's got the worst problem anyone can possibly have...

One other person has a hand in Caleb's fate: Sheriff Lucas Buck (Gary Cole). Lucas is friend to everyone and no one. He'll give you what you want but there'll be a price to pay further down the line. He uses his position as law enforcer to manipulate and coerce the townsfolk; sometimes with and sometimes without their knowledge. What's even more sinister is that Lucas knows things no ordinary person could possibly know, and most of his desires don't stay unfulfilled for long. He's like a Stephen King character.

Alongside the children and Lucas are a moderate sized cast of regulars whose life is affected in some way by knowing one or all three of them. There's the good doctor, the slutty school teacher, the reporter from out of town, and Lucas' deputy, Ben Healy. Ben is a nice guy, but he's Lucas' subordinate, and while he has free will he lacks the courage needed to do the right thing.

The show suffers from a number of continuity errors that hit like potholes in the road; they don't cause it to go off course but they do make the journey a little less enjoyable, albeit only a little. The tug of war between the three main protagonists is always there, keeping everything else relevant.

NOTE: Both the R1 and R2 DVD releases commit one of the worst crimes imaginable when dealing with a story arc: they present episodes in the wrong order. There's some debate over what the correct order is, but most people agree that the list you can find on Wikipedia works. There are a lot of spoilers on the Wiki page, so I've reproduced the relevant info HERE to save you having to venture there.

22 episodes, approx 44 minutes each.

4 judgements out of 5

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT - Season Three [2005]

"You know, 

your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, 

you know, arrested development."

After two years of struggling in the ratings, the critically acclaimed but sadly neglected Mitch Hurwitz sitcom Arrested Development was ready to close shop at the FOX network.  Normally the network would cancel a show with such low ratings after 10 episodes or so but they saw the brilliance and passion put into the series and allowed to tread water for a total of three years, so for once, we can't really blame the network for letting it go underwater.  

The third season continues it's attack of rapid fire jokes, blink and you'll miss them punchlines and twisted characters galore.  With knowledge of being cancelled the writers were able to sneak in as many in-jokes and nods to the loyal fans as they possibly could without ever worrying about having to attract new viewers.  However it didn't stop them from sarcastically pleading the viewer, even though they knew it well past too late, to "tell your friends about this show".  Graced with some wonderful guest stars (including Charlize Theron in probably the funniest thing I think I've seen her ever do) the regular cast are firing on all cylinders which would eventually allow them all to move onto bigger more successful projects but never quite as good as this series.  This season contains perhaps one of the funniest scenes I have ever seen on television, causing me to hyper-ventilate, that has to do with a mole and a jet pack.  One cast member I should mention is Micheal Cera who is constantly criticized for playing the same awkward kid role over and over but this is the first time he does it and where it works best as he's put into these awful situations.  

I can go on and on about how fantastic and witty this show was but it's best you just go out and check it out for yourself from the very beginning.  

13 episodes. 22 minutes each.

Buyer's Guide:
Available in DVD box sets and on iTunes, Netflix and Amazon.

 4 Wee Britains out of 5

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT - Season Two [2004]

"It's called taking advantage.

It's what gets you ahead in life."

After the perfect execution of the debut season of the criminally underwatched sitcom Arrested Development, Mitch Hurwitz & co. had a lot to live up to.  Four episodes shorter than the previous season, the laughs are as strong as ever and the serialized storyline is even more confusing if you miss an episode or two. 

This time around, George Bluth Sr. is a wanted fugitive, secretly hiding in the Bluth family attic, known only to Michael who has every right to just turn him in but won't for various complicated reasons.  Several other plotlines are introduced into the mix that spiderweb into a manic mess of chaos that always seems to meet up at the end of the season.  The plotting of the season might not be as tightly wound as the first year but some of the jokes are the funniest things I've ever seen.  It rewards viewers with multiple viewings, as I'm still catching things I've never noticed before, including many in-jokes that are a direct "fuck you" to the way the Fox network was treating the program.  The plots seem to have a more outlandish style than before, by including a flesh-eating seal, a "wolf" on the loose in L.A. and even David Cross in a surreal version of Mrs. Doubtfire.  

It also continues it's trend of wonderfully funny guest stars to support the strong ensemble cast, including Henry Winkler (who actually jumps over a shark in one ep), Liza Minelli, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Martin Short, Carl Weathers, J.K. Simmons and even The Blue Man Group.

With every critic and their dog calling the show brilliant, funny, clever and "the best sitcom of the 2000's", it's hard to come up with anything that hasn't been said before but the fact is they're all correct and I'll gladly beat the dead horse and agree with everything that's been said before.  The series is not for everybody but I shouldn't have to tell you that anymore.  As Maeby Fünke says in an episode, shortly after Fox tried pair the show with Family Guy, only to have it fail even more, " Why are we even going after this idiot demographic?"

18 episodes. 22 minutes each.

Buyer's Guide:
Available in DVD box sets and on iTunes, Netflix and Amazon.

4 Lucille and the Loose Seals out of 5

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT - Season One [2003]

"Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything

and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together."

With the help of Ron Howard as both executive producer and narrator, Mitch Hurwitz, co-creator of The Ellen Show, was able to turn Arrested Development into one of the most consistently funny and refreshingly well written sitcoms to grace American television sets.  It centers around widowed father Michael Bluth (Jason Bateman) as he struggles to hold his abysmally dysfunctional socialite family and their once wealthy business together, after their father and CEO George Bluth (Jeffrey Tambor) is sent to prison.  

Shot like a hand-held documentary series, with frequent flashbacks and archival photographs, the series keeps a frantic, yet pleasing pace, while depending on the wonderfully assembled ensemble cast to glue it all together.  It's rare that such a large cast works so well together but this group hasn't a weak link in the bunch.  Every single interaction and combination of characters makes for hilarious and interesting moments while constantly driving the plot forward.  Like Seinfeld, each episode begins with multiple unrelated plots that all seem to cleverly meet up in the end, usually resulting in complete disaster.  

Unlike most sitcoms, Arrested Development is told in a serialized episodic format, so it's best you watch it from the first episode, which seemed to frustrate several viewers who wanted their shows to be forgotten minutes after it was over.  AD never panders to those unable to think outside the idiot box and instead asks for your close attention and memory to understand several of it's "blink and you'll miss them" jokes.  As a fancy way to wrap things up in a short epilogue format, it tags on a "false" preview of the next episode, which did nothing but infuriate dullards who just didn't seem to understand what it really was and needed their humor spoon fed to them.  

Normally it takes a half a season or full year for a series to find it's groove but Arrested Development knew exactly what it was doing from the first episode and makes it all the more stronger in the long run.  Sadly, the series struggled to find a proper audience and became that "I heard it's good but never seen it" series, which is quite frankly infuriating when Chuck Lorre sitcoms are shat out like hotcakes for years on end.  

22 episodes.  22 minutes each.

Buyer's Guide:

Available in DVD box sets and on iTunes, Netflix and Amazon.

5 Families With Low Self Esteem out of 5

Adventures of the Gummi Bears (1987)

Season 3 finally breaks free of the show's formula somewhat with new characters and interesting stories. No more of repeats of Igthorn and/or backfired spells ad nauseum. It's too bad none of the new plots are explored beyond the one episode they feature in as adding too much continuity would hurt syndication rights. Some of the new characters would have added to the show. Even the new cast member introduced at the end of last season is used very sparingly which is puzzling.

The usual one episode geared towards the overarching plot is also absent this season and focuses on simply another piece of Gummi legend. It's a great episode at least. The whole season is pointed towards progress, but then does nothing with it. Wasted potential, but still entertaining and better than last season.

Buyer's Guide:
Available on the same 3 disc set as the previous seasons.

3 disappearing castles out of 5

Adventures of the Gummi Bears (1986)

Season 2 of the Gummi Bears brings many new things like new voice actors and a few new characters, but it is a big heaping helping of more of the same. The majority of the plots are the same as season 1 i.e. thwarting Igthorn or dealing with backfired spells. The interchangeability of the episodes even led to original airings of the 11 minute episodes to be paired with ones from previous seasons to fill out the time slot. It says something that doing it actually doesn't really mess with continuity and such. There are only 3 episodes that have new plots and they are welcome, but so very few and far between.

The only other not tired storyline of the exiled Great Gummis is mostly absent from this season. Someone must have noticed because they seem to pull the new character thing out simply to distract from it's absence. Some other characters are pushed back and forth like princess Calla has a much bigger presence this season than the page Cavin.

Despite its flaws, it still carries the Disney pedigree, so even the recycled feel of this season is still a high quality recyclable. It still has (for it's age) quality animation and voice work. It's a shorter season at least so the recycling doesn't last too long.

Buyer's Guide:
Available on the same bare-bones 3 disc set as season 1 that contains the first 3 seasons of the show.

2½ Clint Eastwood parodies out of 5

Adventures of the Gummi Bears (1985)

It's the Gummi way.

Centuries ago a great civilization of anthropomorphic bears called Gummi Bears were driven from their land by humans who wanted their advanced technology and magic. In the present medieval setting, the descendents of the ones who stayed behind continue to watch over their forest haven, Gummi Glen, while avoiding humans who have begun to believe of them as myths in the intervening centuries. By chance they are discovered by a human boy named Cavin who befriends them. With his help they will go on adventures and help any in need while still remaining a secret to the population at large.

Season 1 has a variety of stories ranging from battling the main villain Duke Igthorn and his army of stupid ogres to smaller ones involving backfired spells and teaching the young ones a lesson. Igthorn tends to harass the Gummi bears to gain their secrets and magic to help him conquer the castle Dunwyn. Specifically he wants the secret recipe to Gummiberry juice that makes bears bounce and gives humans and ogres temporary super strength. That is the majority of episodes and despite the variety they are rather interchangeable (perfect for syndication and making Disney money, natch), but there is an overarching story about communicating with and finding the remnants of the exiled Gummi Bears to restore Gummie Glen to it's former glory. The 6 main characters start as typical stock characters, but grow over time. There is the grumpy one, Gruffi, the fat one, Tummi, the bumbling one, Zummi, the mother figure, Grammi, the girl, Sunni, and the kid, Cubbi. The animation is cheaper television stock, but higher quality than most given the Disney pedigree which shows in most aspects of the show.

Perfect for an old fan feeling nostalgic or if they want a show for their kids that they might enjoy as well.

Buyer's Guide:
Available in a 3-disc set that contains the first 3 seasons of this old Disney afternoon staple. The episodes switch between full 22 minute and half 11 minute episodes. Season 1 is 21 episodes. The set is very bare bones. No special features, just the episodes and subtitles.

3½ Super catchy theme songs out of 5

Avatar: The Last Airbender Season 3 (2007)

"The true mind can weather all the lies and illusions without being lost. The true heart can touch the poison of hatred without being harmed. Since beginningless time, darkness thrives in the void, but always yields to purifying light."

Following the events of season 2, Aang and the others find themselves hiding on a Fire Nation ship preparing to defeat the Fire Lord. To accomplish this they blend in to the Fire Nation population to gather intelligence and prepare for the final battle. While doing so they will continue to help the less fortunate and learn there may be more to the people of the Fire Nation than warmongers and destruction. Also pretty much every character receives some form of character growth as they go on this final leg of the journey. Both sides are equally served here, villians and heroes alike.

The final season of this trilogy of seasons is bigger and better in all respects. Animation and story are kicked into high gear with smooth and consistent quality. Action is packed full with not one, not two, but three multi-part episodes. An excellent run of episodes building up to a huge finale with returning characters and tons of the elemental martial arts to be seen along with the show's fine sense of humor. Quality animation, action packed plot and some good character growth makes this the best season of the three.

Episodes to See:
The Beach - An interlude giving perspective from the villains' point of view.
The Western Air Temple - A big plot point comes to fruition here.
Ember Island Players - The production crew essentially making fun of themselves. Also serves as a nice recap of the series before the finale.

Buyer's Guide:
Available as four DVD volumes or as a box set titled "Complete Book 3 Collection"

5 exhaustion induced hallucinations of samurai duels out of 5

Avatar: The Last Airbender Season 2 (2006)

"It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements and the other nations will help you become whole."

Having sufficiently learned waterbending, Aang and the others make their way to the Earth Kingdom in search of an earthbending teacher and to bring crucial intelligence for the war effort to the Earth King in the capitol of Ba Sing Se. Along the way they are harassed by new antagonist, Azula. She is a Fire Nation princess, bending prodigy and a far more dangerous adversary. As Zuko's sister she is sent specifically to succeed where Zuko has failed. A recurring subplot is Aang attempting to master the Avatar State; a superpowered state that affords him the power of all the past avatars. This proves more difficult than bending since there are benders abound, but there are seemingly none who can teach him how to be an avatar.

This season continues the precedent of excellent animation and surprising depth for a kid's show set by the first season while bringing in a fresh batch of the new. New characters, stories, and new twists on old characters particularly on the part of Zuko as circumstance forces him to deal with a new set of problems other than hunting Aang that may change him forever. Any problems of the first season have been remedied and the show hits its stride if it hadn't already. Best of the old and a slice of the new equals some fine entertainment.

Episodes to See:
The Blind Bandit - Best character in the series is introduced and some funny digs at pro wrestling.
Tales of Ba Sing Se - Collection of vignettes that gives some personal perspective for each character particularly Iroh.
Crossroads of Destiny - Chilling season finale with some twists. 

Buyer's Guide:
Available as multiple DVD volumes or as a box set titled Complete Book 2 Collection.

4½ Manly Tears shed for Mako out of 5

Avatar: The Last Airbender Season 1 (2005)

”Although his air bending skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe Aang can save the world.”

A 100 year war has raged between the 4 nations of the world; The Earth Kingdom, Water Tribes, and Air Nomads versus the Fire Nation. Each nation has their own “benders”; people capable of manipulating their respective element of earth, water, fire and air through the use of martial arts. Only the Avatar can bring peace. As the human incarnation of the planet itself, the Avatar can manipulate all 4 elements and is tasked with maintaining the balance of the world, but he has been missing since before the war began.

Two siblings, Sokka and Katara, from the Southern Water Tribe find a boy frozen in an iceberg, He is Aang, an airbender and the new Avatar. Free from the iceberg, Aang must now fulfill his duty as Avatar and bring an end to the war, but first needs to master the other 3 elements and become a fully-realized Avatar. This proves a problem as there are few who can teach him. They embark on Aang’s flying sky bison named Appa to travel the world in search of a waterbending teacher, but are constantly harassed by Zuko, a banished Fire Nation prince looking to restore his honor, and Zhao, an ambitious commander in the Fire Nation navy out for the glory that capturing the only threat to victory would bring.

The series proved a hit for Nickelodeon as it found an audience outside of its target demographic. Creators Michael DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko created a show that was very archetypical and had all the trappings of a kids show, but it was done very well. The lack of blood, often cheesy morality lessons and G-rated violence don’t stop the show from having some interesting themes and events including separation of families during war, racism and genocide. The effort and detail is evident in not just the characters and story, but also the authentic martial arts and asian influence that that make up the aesthetic. So audiences get a well done Hero’s Journey with cool supernatural martial arts that can appeal to all ages. Excellent.

Episodes You Must See:
The King of Omashu - Great humor and action.
The Siege of the North - Pretty epic as it should be for a 2-part finale

Episodes to Avoid:
The Great Divide - It could be removed entirely and not affect the series one bit. Throw in some annoying characters and this one is a definite skip.

Buyer’s Guide:
Available in multiple DVD volumes or as a box set titled Complete Book 1 Collection. Outside the US it is called The Legend of Aang instead of Last Airbender since the word “bender” apparently has some negative connotations.

4 Lotus Tiles out of 5