Crusade (1999)

Crusade is the first failed spin-off from Babylon 5. In the year 2267 a race called the Drakh, bumming around like glue-bags now the Shadow War has ended, release a plague upon the Earth in a final act of douche vengeance. Consequently, all life on Earth will terminate in approximately five years if a cure isn't found.

Earth Gov orders the destroyer ship Excalibur to scour the galaxy, dig beneath alien rocks and generally make themselves a pain in the butt of everyone else in order to find a cure.

The series managed only 13 episodes before being canned. In truth, it wasn't due to the poor quality of the series, it was the TNT network being interfering bints. If you listen to the episode commentaries you'll discover that JMS had big plans for years 2-5: leftover Shadow tech; government cover-ups; the return of everyone's favourite bad guy behind a badge, Alfred Bester; a magical sword; and something called an Apocalypse Box, which you'll understand if you watch the show. Things could have got good.

Much of the cast are unspectacular. Captain Gideon (Gary Cole) is two dimensional; he's supposed to be a stubborn gambler type but he comes off as wooden. His second in command, Lt Matheson (Daniel Dae Kim), is limp, restricted in both his abilities and his function. The only two interesting characters, a female thief named Dureena (Carrie Dobro) and a Technomage named Galen (Peter Woodward), are criminally underused. Woodward steals the show; his ability to portray intrigue and pathos are almost equal that of his famous father, Edward. Additionally, there are a few cameos from B5 cast members to keep fans happy.

If you do watch it take note, because of the studio interference you have the option of the original broadcast order, the revised Sci Fi Channel broadcast order, or the chronological order to choose from. Either way, due to unfilmed episodes, none of those options offer an acceptable linear experience.

The music isn't by Christophe Franke this time, and his absence is painfully obvious.

1½ phallic shaped spaceships out of 5