Spartacus: Blood and Sand (2010)

"Your name...your life, is what we decide."

Starz bloody re-imagining of the story of Spartacus, although this series shows his origins rather than the history he is famous for. Spartacus starts as a nameless Thracian hired to be a mercenary soldier helping Roman legions subdue rival tribes, but things go bad when he disobeys orders to save his homeland leading to a Roman defeat and worse, humiliation for his commander ( at least in the commander's eyes.) His old life is destroyed in retaliation as he and everyone he knows is sold into slavery and he ends up in a training house for gladiators. Now he must try to survive the brutal training as well as the schemes of his ambitious masters; Batiatus and his wife Lucretia.

If you came for dramatic tales of human spirit, you will be mostly disappointed, but if you came for excessive violence (blood fountains) and gratuitous nudity (for the men and the ladies) then you're in the right place. The show starts slow, but once it stops trying to mime 300 it becomes great fun watching Romans fuck each other over and just plain fuck. Helped by a cast full of beautiful people who seem to have no qualms mimicking the more deviant side of Roman culture. Paired with great action makes the show very indulgent.

Also of note are John Hannah and Lucy Lawless as Batiatus and Lucretia playing against type and a far cry from Jonathan in The Mummy series and Xena. You will hate them and root for them all at once and they own every scene they're in. If you let it, the show is very entertaining.

Episodes to See:
Ep. 10 Party Favors - One villain plays their hand very well.
Ep. 12 Revelations - As its title suggests, season long plots come to light.

Episodes to Avoid:
Ep. 1 The Red Serpent - The worst offender of the "300 Syndrome." Rough dialogue and production that might be impressive if it were made by teenagers for a film class. Skip it and any details you need from it can be had from other episodes.

Buyer's Guide:
Available as a 4 disc DVD box set and on Blu-ray.

3 Jupiter's Cocks out of 5